Ayesha at Last

by Uzma Jalaluddin

“Love comes after marriage, not before. These Western ideas of romantic love are utter nonsense. Just look at the American divorce rate.”

“I will find you the perfect wife—modest, not too educated. If we can’t find someone local, we will search for a girl back home.”

Because while it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single Muslim man must be in want of a wife, there’s an even greater truth: To his Indian mother, his own inclinations are of secondary importance.

Part of both worlds, yet part of neither, she thought.

Instead of teaching, she was hiding from her class. Even worse, she was writing a poem in her purple spiral notebook.

The other teachers were teaching, not hiding and writing poetry.

“Babe, you are never going to be ready to teach. You know what you’re ready for? Writing poems. Exploring the world. Falling in love.

“My family is counting on me to set a good example for Hafsa. I’m the eldest kid in the family. I want to set the bar high for everyone else.

Mary meant to be kind, but Ayesha knew that not everyone started from the same place. Some people were always a little ahead. Or in her case, constantly playing catch-up.

“When an unmarried man and woman are alone together, a third person is present: Satan,”

But even if Khalid “edited” everything about himself—his clothes, his beard, his words—it wouldn’t erase the loneliness he felt every day.

If only Khalid had shaken Sheila’s hand, things would have been so much easier.

Standing on the threshold of Khalid’s shared office, she tried to see him the way Sheila did, as a dangerous, sexist outsider.

“I read the Quran. It is a very poetic book.”

“Nana, are you smoking again?”

“This is just an illusion, as is most of reality. This is not a cigarette. I am not hiding from Nani and waiting for you. And you are not working too hard. We are all just cosmic players in the eternal dance of life.”

A girl’s beauty blooms at twenty, twenty-one. After that, well . . . Finding the right person can be difficult.

one entire wall contained a built-in bookcase filled with books that her cousin, never a great reader, kept for decoration.

“I don’t want to turn into one of those women who never gets married. No offense.”

He looked a bit like a priest in a strip club, she thought with a smile.

I want you to see that a woman doesn’t need anyone to take care of her.

Marriage is not a bad thing, if you find the right person and your judgment isn’t clouded by emotion.

“I don’t want you to be disappointed in love. Men are selfish, Ayesha. They will not put you first. A woman should always have a backup plan, for when things fall apart. You must know how to support yourself when they leave.”

We know what we are, but know not what we may be,’” Nana quoted. It was not lost on Ayesha that he was quoting Ophelia. “Her anger is so strong because it once fueled a very great love.”

“If you can wear a dress to work, why can’t I?”

“What if he’s one of those undercover Islamists? Just this morning I asked him about the empty water bottle he carries to the bathroom. He said that Moslems have to purify themselves with water every time they use the facilities. Who knows what they really keep in there!”

This is who I am, he thought. This thought was quickly followed by another: If it comes down to my clothes or my job, there’s no contest. I’ll quit.

“Honesty is an admirable trait,” he said carefully. “However, one of the cornerstones of a functional democracy is the willingness to accommodate. Does the thought of camouflage feel dishonest, or are you uncomfortable conforming to other people’s expectations of you?”

‘Actions are judged by intentions, and everyone will

have what they intended.’

“It is so difficult to find a truly well-trained girl these days. So many modern ideas about education and careers. When I was growing up, a girl knew her role.”

“I never met such a woman,” she said. “Such a young person does not exist outside Pakistani dramas. Besides, any man who would be happy with such a dud is probably not worth marrying.”

“‘Be a teacher—it’s a boring job, but you’ll eventually learn to like it,’”

“I think you should always have a plan. While you’re working, you can spend evenings and weekends writing poetry until you make it big.

“What I really want is to be happy and free. I don’t think I’m going to be either of those things.”

Sheila, I think you would benefit from some sensitivity and diversity training. Have you considered visiting a mosque or maybe talking to other Muslims?

Sheila didn’t need sensitivity training. She needed to be muzzled.

“Sister Hafsa, since you have a way with words, can you put together something for the bird and the book to say?” Ayesha was confused. “He means Twitter and Facebook,” Khalid said with a sidelong glance.

“I can understand why you use a stage name. It is easier to say some things from behind a mask.”

“Your defect is a tendency to judge everyone,” Ayesha said. “And yours,” he said with a smile, “is to willfully misunderstand them.”

“I’ve never had a boyfriend either. That doesn’t mean I want my family to pick out my husband like they’re ordering something off Amazon.”

I don’t want to leave it too late and end up like you. You’re almost thirty and nobody wants you.”

Promise you will always choose laughter over tears. Promise you will choose to live in a comedy instead of a tragedy.”

“Not everything needs to be measured. The most important step is to mix well and give the ingredients time to sit together,”

A woman plays many roles in her life, and she must learn to accept them as they come. Men are not so flexible,” she said, a half

smile on her lips. “That’s why it’s important to find someone who complements you, rani. Someone to dream with you.”

The words were true, once. She just wasn’t sure if they were anymore.

“Why are you being so secretive? I’m your mother. I have a right to know what you are doing at all times.”

“I don’t like that woman. So bossy and old-fashioned. She told me I should wear a black abaya and slippers when I come to the mosque. What is wrong with track pants and Nike shoes?”

“When I tried to introduce my children to suitable spouses, they laughed in my face. They are all married now. Children must be allowed to lead their own lives, Laik.”