Years later, you will recognize the same desperation in other young people, especially young women, and you will know: You were desperate for the respect the customers gave to you as a professional violinist, respect you had never experienced in previous jobs as a waitress, receptionist, or assistant. In those positions, you acted flirtatious yet docile. You endured condescension and even harassment by imagining the work was temporary, though it never quite felt that way. The pose felt intertwined with a more permanent position: female. But playing the violin for money had no such
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