I decide to tell them my one truly bizarre interaction of interest. “You know what? There was this weird guy from Malta—Joseph Mifsud. He told me that the Russians have the goods on Hillary Clinton. He said they have dirt on her. They have thousands of emails from her.” This is my big reveal. I’m making eye contact with my inquisitors as I drop what should have been a bombshell revelation on them. They don’t blink.

