Luna and the Lie

by Mariana Zapata

I spent at least ten minutes screaming at him, and he took it all. He apologized, Luna. He told me how sorry he was, how unhappy he’d been and how much he regretted how things had worked out. He said he was sober and was trying to make amends for the things he’d done. If it makes you feel better, I hung up on him that first day after all that. He called again a few days later, and I was a bitch then too. But he kept on calling, and I kept answering. I know that’s not an excuse or really even an explanation, but that’s how it happened. Please don’t get more mad than you already are, but he isn’t so bad. He’s changed a lot.

And all this woulda been (marginally) fine if you’d told her from the first call imo and not lied and been secretive

I’m not selling drugs or anything like that. Don’t freak out. I started stripping, okay? I didn’t tell anyone. I barely told Kyra a year ago. I couldn’t keep it a secret any longer. I make enough money to pay for most of my school expenses, and I only have to work a few hours a day. My roommate is a stripper too. I’m just doing it until I graduate.

My sister in Christ…ur older sis is still playing ur meal plan. U ain’t think that was a good thing to tell her?? Stripping ain’t even that bad (to me) but u coulda at least told her u got a well paying job and at least that u moved like-

I dated this older guy for a while, and he was the reason why I got the apartment I was at. We split up and things got weird, and… to make a long story short, it was him who got into my apartment that night. He was jealous over my new boyfriend, but I got a restraining order now and I’m moving out when my lease is over in January. You always do the right thing, and I didn’t want you to get mad at me.

Also I feel like this was the easiest thing to be honest abt?? Like girl

I dated this older guy for a while, and he was the reason why I got the apartment I was at. We split up and things got weird, and… to make a long story short, it was him who got into my apartment that night. He was jealous over my new boyfriend, but I got a restraining order now and I’m moving out when my lease is over in January. You always do the right thing, and I didn’t want you to get mad at me.

What abt her personality made u think she’d be mad 🤨

Dad had asked me to check with you that one day to make sure you were okay. He had a feeling Rudy would try to do something. I should have warned you, but now I have to live with that too if it makes you feel any better.

Girl HOW could u not tell her abt that. That’s the one thing out of everything you’ve lied abt that u shoulda told her. She coulda been seriously hurt or killed like wtf. Also stop saying “if that makes u feel any better” like stfu. I woulda felt better if u were an actual decent sister

So I was going to blame my sister’s kind of passive-aggressive note on why I slept like shit. I was still mad. Me. Who was rarely ever mad. But how could she think I would give a single crap about her stripping? I wouldn’t care what she did. Why couldn’t she just call me? Why couldn’t she just tell me? I wasn’t scary. I understood, I guess to a certain point, but it still just felt like BS.

Exactly like-

“Rip,” I started, not even realizing I’d forgotten the “mister” part, “you can stop now with the flowers, all right?” He didn’t look up as he asked in that congenial, soft voice, “You didn’t like ’em?” “It isn’t about whether I like them or not—” He still didn’t glance over as he cut me off. “You liked them then?” “You know I do. They’re beautiful—” “You don’t like them in your room anymore?” I blinked. “No, I like them there—” “So…?” he asked, still busy doing whatever it was he was doing. I didn’t glance at his butt. I didn’t.

He cracks me up for no reason 😭

“I’m not trying to make anything up to you. I told you that already.” He set down the wrench in his hand and took a deep breath, watching me closely. “I’m getting you flowers because I want to. Because you said nobody has ever given them to you, and I’m not about to let anyone else do it. This isn’t some boss shit, baby. This doesn’t have shit to do with Cooper’s. This is Luna and Rip. This is me trying to get you to give me a chance. Understand me?”

🤭

“I want what I should’ve been taking from you from the moment you started being sugar sweet to me. From the first time you went out of your way to make me feel good... made me feel better than anyone has for the first time in a long fucking time.” He licked his lips, and I watched every second of it as his hand stayed exactly where it was. On my cheek. His fingers trailed down my jaw and lingered on the side of my neck. “You calm me. You know that? You do to me what all that jewelry you wear does for you. Just looking at you makes me feel better. And not just fucking better but better. Different. Like you look right through me and my bullshit and you know what’s in there better than I do.” I stood there with my mouth open, not knowing what to say. “Lady at the flower store said orange means admiration.” My brain and nervous system decided all I was going to be capable of doing right then was blinking and, even then, that seemed almost like too much for me to handle. Because… excuse me? “Pink’s happiness… gratitude… appreciation. Those purples are desire… love at first sight… Yellow is affection. Red is love. I owe you a couple of white ones, but I was going to wait a while more because I know I fucked up.” He dropped his hand. “But I’m not going anywhere. Not today. Not tomorrow. I thought you were the most beautiful fucking girl I’d ever seen when you walked into that tiny-ass office three years ago being all cocky and shit. And I think about that girl every single night ...

SHUT UP SHUT UPPP THIS MAKES ME IMMENSELY HAPPY

That entire conversation that had left my heart pounding, my brain confused, and my entire existence uprooted. That was what I’d been thinking about all day. Even right then, while I ate with the Coopers and spent time with them… until my date in two hours. My date. What the hell was I doing?

Girl-😭

“It’s Rip.” Both of them blinked and stayed very, very still. “Did he finally decide to get his head out of his ass?” Mr. Cooper asked with a wary smile after a moment. “What?” He repeated himself. “Did he finally get his head out of his ass and tell you to save those dates for him?”

Oop- clock it

“What did you tell her?” I asked slowly, trying to process what he was implying. He cocked his head to the side. “That you didn’t know.” “Didn’t know what?” His smile was bittersweet. “That he took one look at you and knew.”

Yuppp

“You think Ripley… likes me?” I asked. The older man cocked his head to the other side and went about cutting a piece of his chicken as he answered, “I don’t think. I know. I’ve seen it on his face a thousand times, Luna. Especially when he was being hard on you.

But he pushes the people that love him, pushes them like he’s trying to make sure they won’t go anywhere. Rip is the total opposite of you. God knows I love him and I will until the day I die, but I love you too. And you both deserve to be happy. He thinks the world of you, and I can’t help but think God brought you into our lives for a reason.” I stared at this man, feeling the fear in my chest, and I asked him, “But he loved you and he left you for twenty years, Mr. C. That’s not… what I want.” His smile was slow and honestly heartbreaking. “Luna, he threatened to quit on me a hundred times in the first year he came back.” I blinked. “He hasn’t stuck around because of me, honey.”

THANK YOU

Me: Do you think I’m being a coward with this Rip thing? Tell me the truth. Not even a minute went by before I got a response. Lenny: Yes

LMAOOO THAT GOT ME 😭😭

“Where did he go?” He shrugged a rounded shoulder. “Somewhere not here.” Uh. “I told him to get the fuck out,” he kept going unapologetically. “Told him you weren’t going to be meeting him tonight or any other night, and he might as well go hit up someone else’s girl because he wasn’t getting mine.”

Mannn

“Yeah, I did, Luna. You wanna go out to eat? I’ll take you. You wanna go out and get a Sprite? Tell me. You want to watch a fucking movie? I’ll take you to the goddamn movies. If you want to go to beat the shit out of your cousin again, I’ll fucking take you. You want to meet someone to be your best friend and your fucking partner? I’m right fucking here, baby girl.” Oh hell. Oh freaking hell. “How many times I gotta tell you I just like being around you?”

SHUT UP I’LL CRY

“You don’t—you’ve never even had a girlfriend.” “So? Want me to lie and tell you I’ve had a couple dozen? Or you good with knowing it’ll only be you?” Well. Hell. “You’re too young. You’re too sweet. You’re too good for me. But I’m done standing around trying to suck up all the goodness you make me feel without you even knowing, Luna. You are my girl. Just you. Nobody else ever has or will be.” I sucked in a breath and lifted my face to look at his. “I am?” He nodded, his expression something different than any other I’d ever seen before. “Really?” “Really,” he agreed, his smile soft and almost shy.

AHHH STOP

But in that moment, I couldn’t find it in me to argue with him over it. That was because… because… connected to the same keychain his house key was on, something dangled from it. Something that looked like an ice cream cone charm. An ice cream cone charm that I’d had on a necklace. A necklace that I had put on him after the car accident. He’d kept it? He’d put it on his keychain? I was a goner. I was such a goner that no one was ever going to find me again. Ever.

Stoppp that’s so cute

“Not for every girl you bring over?” I made myself ask. He shook his head and fully turned to face me, his hand coming up and sliding across my throat, palming it. Those teal-colored eyes didn’t stray from mine for even a second as he breathed, “I told you I bought this after I moved here.” “I know.” Did my voice have to sound so small? “It’s none of my business if you have—” “Nuh-uh,” he said, still shaking his head. I blinked. “But that was three years ago.” He raised an eyebrow. “But you didn’t even like me.” “Oh, I liked you just fine, baby. I’ve always liked you just fine.” Yep, I was a goner. “But you were mean to me.” His smile was slow. “I was tough on you, not mean, and that shit ate me up for hours and days after.”

See-

“But what if I would’ve started dating someone?” Rip tipped his head closer to mine, bringing his mouth just inches from me. “I would’ve made sure there hadn’t been a second date, baby girl. I know you went on seven of them until this bullshit recently. I know you went to dinner on three, to the movies on two, a baseball game on one, and Mickey’s on another. I listened. I know. I was there the night you got your place broken into. I just wanted to make sure you were all right.”

This man

I loved this man. I loved him, I loved him, I loved him.

I loved this man. I had loved this man for a long time, but I had never loved him more than I did right in that moment as he stood there, with dread in his eyes. Because he was worried what I would think.

“I used to make my own birthday cakes.” I shrugged. “After I stole the cake mixes from the grocery store. My dad loved milk and eggs, so there was always some at the house. He’d always give me money for that.” I blinked. “He’d ask for his receipt and make sure I brought every penny back.” This man took another step closer to me. “February thirteenth, yeah?” He was asking me for my birthday, and the fact that he even knew what day my birthday was…. “Yeah.” He took another step forward. “I’ve got you from now on.” “For birthday cakes?” I asked, hoping that I didn’t sound as… hopeful as I was sure I did. “Yeah.” He took another step. “I’ll make you that red velvet cake you like.”

Sigh

“Yeah, I noticed when you had me break your cousin’s hand. I’m not gonna lie, Luna, I was ready to kill his ass, but I was too busy thinking about how you kicking his ass and throwing that fucking shoe like a ninja star was the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.” Reaching forward, I pressed my fingertips against the band along the top of his jeans where the belt loops went. “You still like me even after that?” His smile was gentle. “You could steal the Mona Lisa, and I know you’d do it for a good reason. I don’t think there’s anything you could do that I wouldn’t be all about, baby girl.” I laughed, and that just made him smile wider and drag his finger the opposite direction of my jaw, his thumb just lightly brushing the skin under my throat. “You are the goodest, sweetest thing I have ever had in my life, and I don’t want you to go screaming the other way, you understand me? One day I’ll tell you about everything,” he said softly.

“Why?” And handsome, amazing Rip didn’t hesitate for a single second as he said, “’Cause I love you, Luna. Because I love the shit out of you, girl, and those two weeks when you were acting like you were done with me were some of the worst days of my life.” That had me sitting up so I could look at him. Look at him I did. At that serious face. At those intense eyes. At the earnestness coming straight out of him like a beam. I could be honest, I could admit I whispered, “You love me?” Not yeah. Not uh-huh. Nothing watered down or broken up. He gave me the four greatest words I would ever hear. “I love you, girl.” A confirmation. A promise. A Band-Aid that shouldn’t have been a Band-Aid but was. Because I knew Rip wouldn’t say those words if he didn’t mean them. Maybe he’d said some things weeks ago he hadn’t meant, but I understood why they had come out the way they had. I definitely knew he wouldn’t take them back for no reason. In that moment, I knew he meant those three words from the bottom of that rough, complicated heart. “I love you too,”

It hurts me a lot that she’s talking to my dad of all people and has been for years. I don’t get it, Rip, you know? I mean, I guess I kind of do but not really at the same time. He wasn’t anywhere near as mean to them, just to me, but even then, I don’t get how she could even bother wanting to try. Her and Kyra. He was horrible. He didn’t give a single crap about her or any of them when they lived with him, and I’m not exaggerating that. If it was her he’d been mean to, I would never be able to forgive him. Not ever.”

Exactly

“I haven’t tried calling her again since then. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I love her, but I’m mad.”

That’s another thing too. She been calling everyday for a while why couldn’t Thea just pick up the phone

“You’ll do the right thing.” “I hope so.” His smile was soft. “You will, baby. You always do. I don’t know anybody with a heart half as good as yours.” “Aww, there’s plenty of people—“ “No, there’s not.” Rip kissed the side of my mouth, then the opposite side, the short bristles on his cheeks kissing mine. “There really isn’t. You got that little fox on you, but you’re a wolf, baby. A fucking miracle. I don’t know how you came out the way you did, but you teach me something about forgiveness and love every single day. And here I thought for most of my life, until I met you, that I stopped learning things a long time ago.” Me? That laugh was soft. “Yeah, you. Only you.”

“What I know is that I’ll tell you right now I’ll never let anybody treat you like fucking shit or make you feel like they don’t want you around. Not me, not even your family. I wasn’t fucking around when I said I love you, and I know there’s a lot of shit I need to tell you, but we’ll figure it out.”

In that moment, and for the rest of my life, I knew that nothing would ever be as necessary as this man in front of me, who would sabotage my dates and make me food because he knew I couldn’t cook and mostly because he saw me for who I wanted to be. For who I tried to be even when I did things that weren’t very nice. This man, Lucas Ripley, who was just as much of a taped together puzzle as I was.

But I didn’t have to roll over to know that it was after midnight now, so technically I was thirty-one now. Thirty-freaking-one.

Hello??

But as I looked down at the stack of pictures in that box, I wasn’t sure whether to be excited or just a little devastated. Because I had never seen the face looking back up at me. Not once. But I knew whom it belonged to. Somehow. Some way. I knew. The woman couldn’t have been any older than eighteen. She was sitting in a pose with a purple gown and cap on, holding a fake diploma in one hand, her expression tight but smiling. Light olive-skinned. Medium-haired. She didn’t have the Miller green eyes, but why would she? “Know who it is?” Rip asked quietly, setting his hand back on my spine. I gulped and barely managed to get out, “My mom, right?” That big hand went up and down before he confirmed, “Yeah, baby. It’s your mom.”

Omg what a man that’s insane

You’d have figured he would have gotten used to my hugs over the years, but he hadn’t. He still sighed into my neck like it was something new, and wrapped his arms around me as tight as ever when I threw my arms around him suddenly. Squeezing him tightly. Squeezing him like he meant the world to me and had made my life ten times better by just existing. By just being the person that he was. I was seriously the luckiest person in the world.