Luna and the Lie

by Mariana Zapata

His mouth was still formed into that microscopic smile, and I could see his eyes stray to my earrings of the day. They were cupcakes. I’d put them on for his birthday.

The heart is more resilient than anyone ever gave it credit for, and I liked to think mine was a bad bish.

But most grudges were a waste of time. They were a vortex where you lost time, energy, and happiness. Time, energy, and happiness you could apply toward something that was good, something that your whole life benefited from. Something that could actually make you happy. And I wanted to be happy more than I wanted to be right.

What I could be sure of was the body that stepped right up to mine. The body that didn’t give me a chance to stop crying or even drop my hands because that body wrapped itself around my own. An arm curled over my shoulder, another right below it, draping itself across my shoulder blades.

Legs and thighs pressed against me, and something warm grazed my cheek as gentle, almost delicate words filled my ears. “It’s all right, baby girl,” they started. “You’re a good girl.” “A nice girl.” “The nicest.” “Sweetest.”

Because at least I was trying to make my life better. Every day, I tried to make my life better, and that had to mean something. It would.

Every day was a new day that gave you the opportunity to have your entire life ahead of you. And that was what I was going to keep telling myself.

“I’m glad you’re okay and you’re not mad about your truck. I’ll help you fix it if we can.” The hand on my ribs decided to give me my own squeeze. He got the next words out of his mouth before the cop interrupted, quietly, gently, and more earnestly than I ever would have imagined. “I’m glad you’re good too, baby girl.”

“If I want to come get you, I’m gonna come get you. Deal with it,” he stated, or more like told me. “You wanna stop at that donut place you like or what?”

Me and Rip. Friends. I’d take it. I’d take it every day of the year, forever.

But he lifted his hand up, and before I could even blink, his fingers pinched a loose strand of hair off my cheek and tucked it behind my ear, the pad rubbing against the sensitive skin right behind it.

“It’s nothing you need to worry about,” I tried to tell him. And just like that, his face clouded over and he took another step toward me. “I wanna worry about it. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Luna,” he growled through his teeth, taking another step forward. That big body seeming to expand before my eyes. “It’s my business. You are my business.”

I didn’t say anything. I just stayed there, inhaling and exhaling him… mostly on accident, but on purpose too. Like medicine but for all the other little hurts. The big hurts too. And the medium-sized ones…

He made sure to look me right in the eye. “You need me, you call me. Any time. Any day. It’s that easy.” Why did that make me uncomfortable? “You don’t gotta do everything alone.” “I’ve never wanted to, Rip.”

The fingers covering mine moved to linked us together. His palm warm, so much warmer than mine, it felt like it gave me strength. Or assurance. Or something. Something too nice and necessary. And not mine at all.

“But I miss the fuck out of you, messing with me all the damn time, provoking me way too much, always fucking laughing and smiling and being a pain in my fucking ass.”

“Are you his fucking girl?” the other guy demanded, his pitch going higher. His girl? Rip’s girl? My “no” came out at the same time Rip said, “What do you think?”

And he told me carefully, too carefully, “Two fucking weeks and I want it back. You gave me these pieces of you I know you haven’t given to anybody else, and they’re mine. You can’t take ’em back. I need them more than you do, you hear me?”

“I’m getting you flowers because I want to. Because you said nobody has ever given them to you, and I’m not about to let anyone else do it. This isn’t some boss shit, baby. This doesn’t have shit to do with Cooper’s. This is Luna and Rip. This is me trying to get you to give me a chance. Understand me?”

“You calm me. You know that? You do to me what all that jewelry you wear does for you. Just looking at you makes me feel better. And not just fucking better but better. Different. Like you look right through me and my bullshit and you know what’s in there better than I do.”

You wanna go out to eat? I’ll take you. You wanna go out and get a Sprite? Tell me. You want to watch a fucking movie? I’ll take you to the goddamn movies. If you want to go to beat the shit out of your cousin again, I’ll fucking take you. You want to meet someone to be your best friend and your fucking partner? I’m right fucking here, baby girl.”

I fisted my hand. “You don’t—you’ve never even had a girlfriend.” “So? Want me to lie and tell you I’ve had a couple dozen? Or you good with knowing it’ll only be you?”

“You’re too young. You’re too sweet. You’re too good for me. But I’m done standing around trying to suck up all the goodness you make me feel without you even knowing, Luna. You are my girl. Just you. Nobody else ever has or will be.”

“Do you like me, or is it more than that?” He took a deep breath before responding. “Get out of here with me and I’ll tell you.”

“’Cause I love you, Luna. Because I love the shit out of you, girl, and those two weeks when you were acting like you were done with me were some of the worst days of my life.”

There’s a whole lot you don’t get a choice in, but there’s a whole lot more you do. And I knew right then what I would choose. What I would always choose.