In this case, Sam cannot hear or see Ivy’s longing for comfort, relief, and support because all he hears are criticisms and complaints. He sees only an unsatisfied, perpetually angry wife and expends his energy in defending himself from a perceived attack. Likewise, Ivy cannot hear or see Sam’s longing for affirmation, his need to know he is still special to her and that she desires him. She sees only another needy person placing demands on her. She feels he has no idea how little she has left to give, or how much his lack of support has impacted her connection with him.
