The Duties of Parents: Parenting Your Children God's Way

by J.C. Ryle

Train up your child with all tenderness, affection, and patience. I do not mean that you are to spoil him, but I do mean that you should let him see that you love him. Love should be the silver thread that runs through all your conduct. Kindness, gentleness, long-suffering, forbearance, patience, and sympathy are the cords by which a child may be led most easily. Willingness to enter into childish troubles and a readiness to take part in childish joys are the clues you must follow if you want to find the way to his heart. Few people can be found, even among adults, who are not drawn easier than they are driven. Something in all our minds rises in arms against compulsion; we brace our backs and stiffen our necks at the very idea of a forced obedience. We are like young horses in the hand of a broncobuster. When he handles them with kindness and makes much of them, he can eventually guide them with a thread, but if he treats them roughly and violently, it will be many months before he gets the mastery of them. Children’s minds are cast in much the same mold as our own. Sternness and severity of manner chill them and set them back. It shuts up their hearts, and you will weary yourself to find the door. But let them see that you have an affectionate feeling towards them and that you really desire to make them happy and do them good, so that if you punish them, they know it is intended for their well-being. As they see that you, like the pelican, would give your heart’s blood t...