Rules for Visiting

by Jessica Francis Kane

few variables. Consider the word visit. It’s from the Old French visiter, which meant “to inspect, examine, or afflict.” You can visit a neighbor or a friend, but so can plagues and pestilence. And travel. It’s from the Middle English travailen, which meant originally “to toil or labor; torture.”

The arrival, however, has been overlooked. Welcoming a friend into your life is like folding egg whites: it should be done gently and with good technique, leaving lots of air. Enthusiasm has its place—exclamations,

while I have wondered what it is fair to ask of loved ones. Can we ask them to take care of themselves for our sake, because we love them, or is that an inherently selfish request?

questions I most wanted to ask my friends was: Can I see an average day in your life right now? A real day, not one curated for social media or filled with the best activities to entertain a

Happy is the house that shelters a friend,” Emerson