The Lost and the Chosen (The Lost Sentinel, #1)

by Ivy Asher

“So what’s with the caster females are all delicate flowers mentality that some people seem to have?” I ask.

“The current situation isn’t so dire; the ratio is now probably one female for every six or so male casters. However, that mentality of protect, shelter, and revere has now become embedded in our culture,” Ryker adds.

I scoff at what is clearly a delusional assessment of Lachlan being supportive or letting me make any decisions. So far, that has not been my experience. “Many female casters are more controlled. If not by their families, then by the elders. The stronger the magic in a female, the more the elders will try to match her up with a strong or prominent coven of male casters. There’s a lot of politics and matchmaking that goes on,” Bastien continues. “What do you mean by mates?” I query.

Maybe my theory that magic has something to do with my sudden attraction to multiple men isn’t so farfetched. Fuck yes, I don’t have to feel wrong for wanting them…all of them. Well, maybe not Sabin—oh who am I kidding, I’d pounce on him, too. I’d just duct tape his mouth so I could stare at him without having to listen to him say rude, antiquated, sexist shit.

“We grew up as friends, but after our readings, when we knew we all wanted to be paladin, we were approved to come together to form a coven. Mates can work similarly.

It all seems so clinical to me. A bunch of elders gathered together and trading people like baseball cards. “Does that mean you guys are paired up already?” I blurt, feeling annoyed and a little panicked.

We seem to click, but I don’t know them well enough to envision anything long term, and I don’t want to mistake sexual attraction with long-term compatibility.

Knox doesn’t put me down, and Evrin gives me an awkward high five in greeting. I haven’t talked to any of the paladin, other than Aydin, since they left, and I’m not sure what the dynamic will be like now that they’re back.

“We could have used some of your skills on this assignment, Little Badass,” Aydin tells me as he sets me back down on my feet. “Feel free to take me next time then,” I reply, not missing a beat but shocked that he’d want to include me in what they do.

Lachlan—the party pooper—swoops in, breaking up the fun. He also hugs all of the guys, and it’s painfully awkward when he doesn’t acknowledge me at all. Yep, he’s still anti-me.

Aydin quickly realizes what’s going on. “Um, did magic fairies break into my closet and replace everything?” Now clued into what I’m distressed about, the guys look around and huff in amusement. “These are the things we ordered the other day, remember?”

“Do you like it? Will this work for you?” Aydin asks, sounding a little insecure. I realize that my shocked ranting is sounding extremely ungrateful, and I mentally slap myself.

I want them both so badly, and I don’t care if it’s magic or me or anything else that’s fueling this, because it feels so fucking right. Something clicks together inside of me, but I can’t focus on what.

I look at Sabin, and his disapproving and judgmental mien makes me snap. “What? Are you still of the delusion that my vagina makes me too fragile and feeble minded to make decisions for my fucking self?”

“You have no idea about how our world works or where you’ll fit into it. I have every right to be protective of them and of you,” Sabin defends. “If that’s really the issue, then enlighten me, Sabin. Tell me what I need to know so I can make more informed decisions, but stop trying to control me.” He sweeps his hand through his hair and sighs. “All of you are pushing too far, too fast.”

“Oh yeah, you’re just overflowing with acceptance and support.” He takes another step toward me, but my glare stops him in his tracks. He looks torn or maybe regretful, I’m not sure, but I just want him to leave. I’m so tired of people trying to convince me that I’m not good enough, or trying to make me feel wrong or less than simply because I exist.

It’s been a week of mostly avoiding everyone who lives in this monster-mansion of emotional torture. I’ve ignored the knocks on my door, and I’ve been doing my best to sneak around unnoticed. That is until today when Lila made me promise to come down for a BBQ. To add to my misery, none of the sisters are even here.

“So when do I get to start kicking your ass, I mean training?” Aydin asks playfully. I take a minute to think about his question. Maybe this is exactly what I need right now.

I’ve watched my uncle this past week, and he’s completely different with the boys than he is with me. He’s invested and warm with them, and their dynamic is easy and seamless. It shows me the guy that the sisters insist he is.

I flick the lock on my bedroom door behind me, and I grab my phone to call Talon. It goes right to his voicemail, just like every other call has. I stare at my phone for a moment, missing him, missing his protection and the easy way we were around each other.

Looking at him now, I’m sure he regrets the massive amount of shit talking he did before we got started hours ago. There was excited anticipation floating around before. Bets were made, egos were stroked, and my bloodlust was itching to be fed. But it didn’t take long to realize that Aydin was no match for me and what I can do.

Watching others use their magic is something I don’t think will ever get old, and I become completely engrossed in watching Evrin heal Aydin.

I immediately become aware that the guys are waiting throughout the gym, watching me and making it clear that I’m not leaving this room without acknowledging them. I move to the pull up bar refusing to give into their demanding presence. I grip it and easily muscle my chin up and over. I’m on my third set of twenty-five when a pair of arms clamps around my waist and pulls me away from the bar. I consider for a minute getting out of his hold, but maybe it’s best to get this over with.

Sabin tries to respond, but Knox cuts him off. “I know Sabin talked to you about how he felt, but the rest of us don’t agree with him. Sabin’s opinion shouldn’t be the only one that matters here.”

“Vinna, you are paladin, not only is it in your blood, but I just watched you crush one of the best fighters the paladin have like it was nothing. I don’t need a Reader to tell me that you’re one of us,” Valen declares.

“Bruiser, I know what’s going on with you right now isn’t just about us. I heard about all the shit that’s been going down with Lachlan and the coven. I’ve watched you withdraw more and more every time Lachlan shows interest or affection to one of us but ignores you.

I’m not really sure what I’m even doing here. I don’t even drink. I’m not opposed to it; I’ve just never done it. Clubs and bars aren’t really my scene, but it called to me when I spotted the neon lights in the distance. I’m still riled up and itching with aggression, and I thought I could just sit inside and quietly wait for a good bar fight. I tried to explain this to the bouncer, but he just looked at me like I had lost my mind and told me to leave.

“I warned you, little witch, you’re out of your league,” Liev tells me. “That’s the Silas pack beta, and no one beats him aside from the alpha himself.”

A man covered in only shorts walks out into the empty arena. The crowd around me stands and starts shouting and cheering. Torrez looks to be about six feet tall, and he has a black beard and a mohawk of long dreads. He’s Latino, and his dark brown eyes are shrewd and ready.

Torrez--Silas pack beta, latino, dark brown eyes, mohawk of long dreads, black beard, 6ft, grey wolf

His shit talking game is on point, and I can’t help but appreciate it. I smirk, and he scents the air again. Can shifters smell emotion? If they can, then he has to know that I need this fight more than I need my next breath. My unsatisfied bloodlust is tearing me apart, and this is the only way to excise all the rage and hurt festering inside of me. “In or out, wolf?” I ask, stone-faced. If he’s not interested, then I’ll find someone else to pick a fight with.

“Vinna!” My head snaps in the direction of Ryker’s voice. What the fuck is he doing here? The weight of a truck slams into me, and teeth sink into my shoulder. I call on my runes for power, and I start punching the wolf in the face.

I smile at him, and he winks at me. Knox is so gung-ho for battle and glory, and I seriously love it. Nothing seems to faze him at all. He should be crowned the king of rolling with the punches.

“I love music.” “He’s an incredible guitar player,” Bastien informs me. “And Knox can sing the panties off anyone.”

I feel like I just kicked a puppy, but I can’t get sucked back into this...thing that happens when I’m around them. “I’m just here to learn about magic. I shouldn’t be focusing on anything beyond that. The paladin aren’t teaching me shit, and reading only goes so far. When I’m with you guys, it’s easy to forget that my life right now is a drama-filled suckfest. “I don’t want to add fighting with Sabin, and you guys fighting each other, to my suckfest. I’d love to say we can just keep it friendly, but if I’m being honest with myself, that’s not going to work for me either. So avoiding you is the best plan I can come up with right now.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you. I’ve been quietly stocking up.” I point to my bulging tote and smile. She smiles back and stands up. She’s taller than me and slimmer—lean where I’m more muscular. She has shoulder length magenta hair that’s cut bluntly and curled and tousled to perfection. The color seriously compliments the pink undertones of her fair complexion and her heart-shaped face. She smiles back, her eyes the color of milk chocolate, the smoky eye makeup she’s rocking accentuating them in all the best ways. Her nose is delicate, and the septum ring she has makes everything about her look even edgier.

Mave—wolf shifter, works as piercer in tattoo shop

“But speaking of gossip… what’s going on with you and the boys?” Adelaide asks, trying and failing at sounding casual and barely interested. I choke on the food in my mouth and start coughing loudly. I gulp water to clear everything away and take in the sisters’ plucky grins. “Nothing really, why?” I hedge.

“You’ve been a caster your whole life, you’ve just known that’s what it was called for a short time. The fact that you’ve grown up the way that you have, dealing with everything you’ve had to deal with, puts you ahead of kids who grow up in this community, not behind them. I hope you know that, Vinna,” Lila tells me fiercely. “You’re not lacking in anything that matters, and that makes you an incredible caster worthy of incredible things in your life,” Birdie adds.

I want to be respectful of Sabin and how he feels, but the sisters are right. I’m not listening to my own instincts. I’m not listening to what I feel is right. Maybe it’s selfish of me to decide that what I want trumps everything else, but when I listen to my instincts, I always end up exactly where I need to be. So why am I ignoring them now?

I run my hand over the top of the smooth wood, tracing each of the four corners. “These are my sister, Laiken’s, ashes. I planned on spreading them somewhere, but so far I haven’t found a place that felt right. So, yeah.” “What happened to her?” he asks, his voice laced with empathy.

“I was three when my parents went missing. They were part of the paladin coven that disappeared with your dad. I’ve spent most of my life obsessed with trying to find them, or find out what happened to them. So I understand how easy it is to get lost in the what-ifs. Don’t do that to yourself. Someone took my mom and dad, and someone took your sister, and the blame lies with those people. Don’t take on fault that doesn’t belong to you.”

I marvel at Bastien’s ability to be playful and silly, and yet still so emotionally in tune and mature when the situation warrants it. He sees so much more of me than I thought I was showing, and it makes me feel understood and validated. He can joke and tease with the best of them and then turn around and talk about real-life, tough shit in a way that makes me feel lighter and freer than I have in years.

“Bruiser, let’s get a couple things straight. Sabin’s permission is not required. He doesn’t let me do anything. He can feel how he wants to and behave how he wants to, but I’m not him. Also, none of us agree with his assessment of things. So please let it go and hang with us again. You know you miss us,” he smirks.

Bastien sticks out his lower lip in a faux pout, and before I can second guess myself, I lean into him and take his pouty lip in between my own. I suck on it for a couple of seconds before I pull back to gauge his reaction.

Bastien=1st kiss

No one responds, and I listen to the silence a few seconds more before I finally open my eyes to see if the call disconnected. It’s still active, so I try again. “Hello, anyone there?” Silence. An odd feeling trickles down my spine. “Talon, is that you?” I ask, and the call abruptly disconnects.

Mave hangs up. No goodbye or see you later, and it makes me laugh. She’s definitely my people, straight to the point with no side of bullshit.

“Vin, this is Kaika, Tru and my little brother Macon.” I say hello to all of them and throw in a friendly wave.

Meets Kaika, Tru, and Mave's lil brother Macon

“What’s your family like? Is Macon your only sibling?” Mave snorts into her soda. “No, there are eleven kids in my family. Macon’s second to last.”

Maybe it’s the wolf in me or my own twisted nature, but I like the chaos and comradery that comes with growing up in a big wild family.” “I could see that,” I admit. “So tell me about shifters.”

“How do you like working at the bookstore?” I ask, changing the subject. “Oh, I don’t really work there. Some members of the pack own it, and we all help each other out when needed. My day job is at the local tattoo shop.” “You’re a tattoo artist?” I ask, obviously surprised and noting the complete lack of any tattoos anywhere on her body. “No, a piercer,” Mave grins and flicks her septum ring.

“There’s no way you’d abandon the non-mentality you grew up with for the polyandrous ways of the casters unless you had some kink inside of you.”