The Making of a Manager: What to Do When Everyone Looks to You

by Julie Zhuo

“Since I’m new, you might not feel comfortable sharing everything with me right away. I hope to earn your trust over time. I’ll start by sharing more about myself, including my biggest failure ever …”

our eyes drank in the details of this potential blueprint for the future.

Managing a small team is about mastering a few basic fundamentals: developing a healthy manager–report relationship and creating an environment of support.

manager’s job is to get better outcomes from a group of people working together through influencing purpose, people, and process.

What gets in the way of good work? There are only two possibilities.1 The first is that people don’t know how to do good work. The second is that they know how, but they aren’t motivated.

One possible answer is that he doesn’t have a clear picture of what great work looks like.

And most of the time when that happens, they’re not just quitting your company, they are also quitting you.

no strong relationship can be built on superficial pleasantries alone.

“What are the qualities of a perfect manager for you?”

His reports wanted to see him work through them rather than dictate the details of their day-to-day.

It was that, for a moment, we related. I wasn’t some authority figure but rather another person also wading through the choppy waters of management.

“If you take nothing else away from today,” he told us, “remember this: managing is caring.”

If you don’t believe in your heart of hearts that someone can succeed, it will be impossible for you to convey your strong belief in them.

What caring does mean, however, is doing your best to help your report be successful and fulfilled in her work. It means taking the time to learn what she cares about.

must be unconditional because it’s about the person as a whole rather than what she does for you.

I recommend no less than a weekly 1:1 with every report for thirty minutes, and more time if needed.

The ideal 1:1 leaves your report feeling that it was useful for her.

your job is to be a multiplier for your people.

The answer is preparation. It’s rare that an amazing conversation springs forth when nobody has a plan for what to talk about.

Discuss top priorities: What are the one, two, or three most critical outcomes for your report and how can you help her tackle these challenges? Calibrate what “great” looks like: Do you have a shared vision of what you’re working toward? Are you in sync about goals or expectations?

Share feedback: What feedback can you give that will help your report, and what can your report tell you that will make you more effective as a manager? Reflect on how things are going: Once in a while, it’s useful to zoom out and talk about your report’s general state of mind—how is he feeling on the whole? What’s making him satisfied or dissatisfied? Have any of his goals changed? What has he learned recently and what does he want to learn going forward?

Don’t presume you know what the problem or solution is. Too often, attempts to “help” aren’t actually helpful, even when served with the best of intentions.

Your job as a manager isn’t to dole out advice or “save the day”—it’s to empower your report to find the answer herself.

Identify: These questions focus on what really matters for your report and what topics are worth spending more time on. What’s top of mind for you right now? What priorities are you thinking about this week? What’s the best use of our time today? Understand: Once you’ve identified a topic to discuss, these next questions get at the root of the problem and what can be done about it. What does your ideal outcome look like? What’s hard for you in getting to that outcome? What do you really care about? What do you think is the best course of action? What’s the worst-case scenario you’re worried about? Support: These questions zero in on how you can be of greatest service to your report. How can I help you? What can I do to make you more successful? What was the most useful part of our conversation today?

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel,

“Remember that you have good values.”

his vote of confidence that they came from a principled place restored some of the confidence I had lost. By recognizing a strength of mine, Chris gave me a renewed sense of motivation.

We humans are wired to see the bad more clearly than the good. It’s an evolutionary advantage, after all.

Recognition for hard work, valuable skills, helpful advice, or good values can be hugely motivating if it feels genuine and specific.

you’re giving someone an opportunity to grow in a way that speaks to their interests and strengths.

they discover what is unique about each person and then capitalize on it,”

“The job of a manager … is to turn one person’s particular talent into performance.”

But in the same way that individuals should play to their strengths, so should you pay attention to your team’s top talent—the people who are doing well and could be doing even better. Don’t let the worst performers dominate your time—try to diagnose, address, and resolve their issues as swiftly as you can.

Good CEOs know that they should double down on the projects that are working and put more people, resources, and attention on those rather than get every single project to the point of “not failing.”

The rising stars on your team may not be clamoring for your attention, but if you help them to dream bigger and become more capable leaders, you’ll be amazed at how much more your team can do as a whole.

is possible to find people who are just as talented and who are humble and kind.

I now understand that personal and organizational values play a huge role in whether someone will be happy on a given team.

But if what motivates a person simply doesn’t jibe with the values of the team, then a bunch of pep talks may relieve short-term symptoms, but they don’t provide a cure.

Be compassionate in examining the past, but focus on the future and don’t prolong the breakup.

Great managers are excellent coaches, and the secret sauce to coaching is the topic of our next chapter—giving effective feedback.

the feedback inspired you to change your behavior, which resulted in your life getting better.

At that point, you should agree on what success looks like—whether for a given project or for a given time period—get ahead of any expected issues, and lay the foundation for productive feedback sessions in the future.

Here’s what success looks like for the next meeting you run: the different options are framed clearly, everyone feels like their point of view is well represented, and a decision is made.

after your report presents an analysis, tell her what you thought she did well and what could go better in the future.

Task-specific feedback is most effective when the action performed is still fresh in your report’s memory, so share it as soon as you can.

This pattern of small errors across your work is starting to undermine your credibility.

Over the next few months, coach her and give her frequent feedback on how she’s doing relative to those expectations. That way, she’ll never have to wonder.

Where did I miss out on setting clear expectations, and how might I do better in the future?

That was when I realized it was I who misunderstood: George had heard the feedback. The issue was that he didn’t see what was complicated about the way he explained things. And if he couldn’t see it, he couldn’t fix it.

that part of the reason feedback doesn’t stick is that the recipient often views the conversation as a threat, so his adrenaline-fueled fight-or-flight instinct kicks