The Making of a Manager: What to Do When Everyone Looks to You

by Julie Zhuo

if I approached challenges with the belief that I could get better at anything if I put in the effort, then the vicious cycle of anxious self-evaluation would be broken.

I would never have known that my feedback was often vague and hand-wavy had I not invited that comment from a colleague.

With a fixed mindset, your actions are governed by fear—fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of being found out as an imposter. With a growth mindset, you’re motivated to seek out the truth and ask for feedback because you know it’s the fastest path to get you where you want to go.

UNDERSTAND YOURSELF AT YOUR BEST AND WORST

I schedule half an hour of “daily prep” into my calendar so I can study my day and visualize how I want each meeting or work task to go.

I schedule “thinking time” blocks on my calendar so I can sort through and write down my thoughts on big problems.

I once had a colleague who would speak on behalf of his entire team in executive reviews, including areas beyond his expertise. My fairness trigger would flare whenever he opened his mouth. It seems really inconsiderate of him to not have his teammates speak to their areas of expertise, I thought. When I privately told him this, he looked surprised but thanked me for the feedback.

Like how athletes have structured diet and exercise regimens to keep them competing in peak condition, the work you do to help yourself operate at your best will lead to many more winning days on the job.

the double whammy of struggling with something and worrying about the fact that you’re struggling with it.

If I were smarter or braver or more talented, I’d be fine.

“The Story I Have in My Head Is Probably Irrational

I wasn’t invited because my teammates don’t think I’m valuable.

when we picture ourselves doing something, the same parts of our brain are engaged as if we were actually doing that activity.

Imagine yourself succeeding wildly at something you’re nervous about

Imagine a time in the past when you took on a hard challenge and knocked it out of the park.

Ask for Help from People You Can Be Real With

formed a Lean In Circle with a dozen other women at the company. Two hours every month, we’d go around the room and share what we were each grappling with—difficult relationships, uncertainty about our careers, struggles to balance parenthood with work.

started a journal called Little Wins. Every day, I’d jot down something I did that I was proud of, even if it was small. Sometimes, I’d celebrate a 1:1 where I gave someone helpful advice. Other days, I gave myself credit for running a productive meeting. Once, on a particularly tough day, I wrote down that I had managed to respond promptly to a few emails.

if you write down five things you’re grateful for every night,9 you’ll feel happier in the long run.

Practice Self-Care by Establishing Boundaries

Set boundaries by carving out time for the other important aspects of your life—spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, exercising, giving back to your community, etc.

high workplace stress has been shown to inhibit creativity,10 whereas “when people were feeling more positive,11 they were more likely to be creative,

In my busiest periods, one exercise I turn to is scheduling a fifteen-minute activity at the beginning and end of the day that isn’t related to work. I’ll watch a TED Talk, play an iPhone game, do a crossword puzzle, exercise, or read.

most of your learning will happen on the job. Whether you need to improve your communication, get better at execution, become more strategic, or work better with others, set a lofty goal for yourself: How can I be twice as good? Then maximize your learning through the following.

Ask for Feedback

if there is a secret sauce to self-improvement, it’s to ask for feedback from other people all the time

Can you be humble and self-aware enough to hear it openly and then respond with real change?

ask for both task-specific and behavioral feedback.

Always thank people for feedback. Even if you don’t agree with what’s said, receive it graciously and recognize that it took effort to give.

If others find you defensive, you’ll get less feedback in the future, which will only hurt your growth.

Treat Your Manager a...

your own boss should be one of your best sources of learning.

the person most invested in your career isn’t him; it’s you

if you feel you aren’t learning from your manager, ask yourself what you can do to get the relationship that you want.

your manager is someone who is on your side, who wants you to succeed, and who is usually willing to invest her time and energy into helping you. The key is to treat your manager as a coach, not as a judge.

engage your manager for feedback.

“What skills do you think I should work on in order to have more impact?

Good question

“I want to learn to become a better presenter, so I’d be grateful if you kept an eye out for opportunities whe...

“How do you decide which meetings to attend?

Nobody wants to be asked, “Will you be my mentor?” because it sounds needy and time-consuming. But ask for specific advice instead, and you’ll find tons of people willing to help.

people in your peer group—those with a similar job to yours—can be an excellent source of support and advice.

Whatever the skill, don’t be afraid to ask, “Hey, I’m really impressed with the way you [do X]. I’d love to learn from you. Would you be willing to grab a coffee with me and share your approach?

Set Aside Time to Reflect and Set Goals

we learn more when we couple our experiences with periodic reflections.

“participants who chose to reflect outperformed those who chose additional experience.

schedule an hour on my calendar at the end of every week to think about what I accomplished, what I’m satisfied or dissatisfied with, and what I’m taking away for next week. I then jot down some notes in an email to my team, as an easy way to keep up the habit.

Get rid of status updates in my 1:1s: Use that time to have deeper conversations with my reports.

Don’t bring work home with me: Focus on being more efficient in the office.

At the end of every six months, I’ll pull up my goals and evaluate how I did. The important thing isn’t...

Take Advantage of Formal Training