The Making of a Manager: What to Do When Everyone Looks to You

by Julie Zhuo

It takes a certain amount of confidence to ask for critical feedback. For me, the breakthrough came when I realized I needed to change my mindset. If I saw every challenge as a test of my worthiness, then I’d constantly worry about where I stood rather than how I could improve. It’s like stressing out more about your exam grade than about whether you’re actually learning the concepts being taught. On the other hand, if I approached challenges with the belief that I could get better at anything if I put in the effort, then the vicious cycle of anxious self-evaluation would be broken. No matter how good or bad I am at any particular skill, the notion that it’s within my power to improve has allowed me to approach learning with curiosity instead of apprehension. And the rewards have been tremendous—I would never have known that my feedback was often vague and hand-wavy had I not invited that comment from a colleague. Once I heard it, I was able to work on making my points more precise and actionable, and now that’s praised as one of my strengths.