The Making of a Manager: What to Do When Everyone Looks to You

by Julie Zhuo

It’s helpful for both manager and report to think through the topics they want to bring to the 1:1 conversation. Every morning, I’ve gotten into the habit of scanning my calendar and compiling a list of questions for each person I’m meeting with. Why questions? Because a coach’s best tool for understanding what’s going on is to ask. Don’t presume you know what the problem or solution is. Too often, attempts to “help” aren’t actually helpful, even when served with the best of intentions. We all remember lectures that went in one ear and out the other because it was obvious the other party didn’t understand our real problem, or when unasked-for “help” feels indistinguishable from micromanaging or meddling. Your job as a manager isn’t to dole out advice or “save the day”—it’s to empower your report to find the answer herself. She has more context than you on the problems she’s dealing with, so she’s in the best position to uncover the solution. Let her lead the 1:1 while you listen and probe. Here are some of my favorite questions to get the conversation moving: Identify: These questions focus on what really matters for your report and what topics are worth spending more time on. What’s top of mind for you right now? What priorities are you thinking about this week? What’s the best use of our time today? Understand: Once you’ve identified a topic to discuss, these next questions get at the root of the problem and what can be done about it. What does your ideal outcome look li...