The Making of a Manager: What to Do When Everyone Looks to You

by Julie Zhuo

I’ve had plenty of help, too, in the form of some amazing leadership training courses (Crucial Conversations is my favorite), articles and books that I turn to again and again (like High Output Management and How to Win Friends and Influence People

Great managers are made, not born.

much of the daily work of managers—giving feedback, creating a healthy culture, planning for the future—is universal.

A MANAGER’S JOB IS TO . . . build a team that works well together, support members in reaching their career goals, and create processes to get work done smoothly and efficiently.

This is the crux of management: It is the belief that a team of people can achieve more than a single person going it alone.

Your job, as a manager, is to get better outcomes from a group of people working together

Time, however, always reveals the truth. The best employees don’t tend to stick around for years and years under a boss who treats them poorly or whom they don’t respect. And talented managers can typically turn around poor-performing teams if they are empowered to make changes.

“My framework is quite simple.” Half of what he looked at was my team’s results—did we achieve our aspirations in creating valuable, easy-to-use, and well-crafted design work? The other half was based on the strength and satisfaction of my team—did I do a good job hiring and developing individuals, and was my team happy and working well together?

I’ve come to think of the multitude of tasks that fill up a manager’s day as sorting neatly into three buckets: purpose, people, and process

Good outcome equals right people following a good process towards a clear and well understood goal.

The first big part of your job as a manager is to ensure that your team knows what success looks like and cares about achieving it.

Finally, the last bucket is process, which describes how your team works together. You might have a superbly talented team with a very clear understanding of what the end goal is, but if it’s not apparent how everyone’s supposed to work together or what the team’s values are, then even simple tasks can get enormously complicated.

Purpose, people, process. The why, the who, and the how.

If I spend all my time personally selling lemonade, then I’m contributing an additive amount to my business, not a multiplicative one. My performance as a manager would be considered poor because I’m actually operating as an individual contributor.

Your role as a manager is not to do the work yourself, even if you are the best at it, because that will only take you so far. Your role is to improve the purpose, people, and process of your team to get as high a multiplier effect on your collective outcome as you can.

If your team is lacking key skills, then you need to spend your time training or hiring. If someone is creating problems for others, then you need to get him to stop. If people don’t know what they should be doing, then you need to construct a plan.

If I told you that 70 percent of your day would be spent in meetings, what’s your immediate reaction? That number might be an exaggeration, but if your first thought is No problem! then you’re the kind of person who is likely to get energy from interacting with others.

If you’re the friend whom others lean on in difficult times, who might be described as empathetic and undramatic, who can be counted on to defuse rather than escalate tensions, then you’ll be better equipped to deal with the range of emotionally charged scenarios that meet any manager’s path.

No leader gets free rein without accountability—if

best outcomes come from inspiring people to action, not telling them what to do.

Now, a manager who doesn’t know how to influence others isn’t going to be particularly effective at improving the outcomes of her team.

A leader, on the other hand, doesn’t have to be a manager. Anyone can exhibit leadership, regardless of their role.

This is an important distinction because while the role of a manager can be given to someone (or taken away), leadership is not something that can be bestowed. It must be earned. People must want to follow you.

What to Watch Out For It can feel awkward to establish a new dynamic with former peers. Before, you were just another individual contributor on the team. Now, you are the boss, which means your relationship with teammates might feel altered.

The manager–report relationship is different than the peer relationship. You are now responsible for the outcome of your team, including all the decisions that are made within it.

Use the newbie card to your advantage by asking as many questions of as many people as you can.

What did you and your past manager discuss that was most helpful to you? What are the ways in which you’d like to be supported? How do you like to be recognized for great work? What kind of feedback is most useful for you? Imagine that you and I had an amazing relationship. What would that look like?

It takes a while to adjust to the norms of a new environment. No matter how talented you are, learning how a new team works takes time, whether you’re joining a different company or changing roles at an existing company. One of the biggest mistakes new bosses make is thinking they need to jump in and exert their opinions right away to show that they are capable. Actually, that approach tends to backfire. Few things are more annoying than a new person wasting everyone else’s time because they are trying to prove they know something when their opinion isn’t actually informed.

A manager’s job is to get better outcomes from a group of people working together through influencing purpose, people, and process.

strive for all your one-on-one meetings to feel a little awkward. Why? Because the most important and meaningful conversations have that characteristic.

Discuss top priorities: What are the one, two, or three most critical outcomes for your report and how can you help her tackle these challenges? Calibrate what “great” looks like: Do you have a shared vision of what you’re working toward? Are you in sync about goals or expectations? Share feedback: What feedback can you give that will help your report, and what can your report tell you that will make you more effective as a manager?

Avoid shuffling around people who lack the right skills or who exhibit toxic behavior.

When people ask you questions about your work, your tone is often defensive. For example, when Sally left a comment on your code, you replied with “just trust me.” This disregarded the substance of her feedback and made you appear less trustworthy.

This was important and difficult work, and your calm demeanor, excellent listening skills, and rational arguments helped the team get to a good outcome.

If you find that your frequency of feedback is low, one tactic I’ve found helpful is to devote a single 1:1 every month to just discussing behavioral feedback and career goals.

If you’ve ever played a game of telephone as a kid, you know this to be true: What you intend to say and what the listener hears are not always the same.

There are some useful frameworks for understanding your strengths, like StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath or StandOut by Marcus Buckingham.

(There’s even a term to describe the cognitive bias where people who aren’t actually very skilled have a tendency to think they’re better than they are: the Dunning-Kruger effect

Calibration matters because it doesn’t do me any good to think that I’m one thing when the world views me as another.

Examples of specific asks: On our last project together, in what ways did you see me having impact? What do you think I could have done to have more impact? With my team, what am I doing well that you’d like to see me do more of? What should I stop doing? One of the things I’m working on is being more decisive. How do you think I’m doing on that? Any suggestions on how I can do better here?

In her influential book Mindset, pioneering psychologist Carol Dweck describes how the two different mindsets—which she calls fixed and growth—make a huge difference in our performance and personal happiness. Observe the difference: SCENARIO: After completing an assignment, your manager gives you a few suggestions for improvement. FIXED MINDSET: Ugh, I really messed that up. My manager must think I’m an idiot. GROWTH MINDSET: I’m thankful my manager gave me those tips. Now all my future assignments are going to go better. —

Over the years, here’s what I’ve learned about what enables me to be my best: I’ve received at least eight hours of sleep the night before. I’ve done something productive early in the day, which motivates me to keep the momentum going. I know what my desired outcome looks like before I start. I have trust and camaraderie with the people I work with. I’m able to process information alone (and through writing) before big discussions or decisions. I feel like I’m learning and growing.

Twice a year, I look back on the past six months and reflect on what I’ve gotten better at. Then, I set new learning goals for the next six months.

By knowing what triggers you, you can catch yourself in the moment and take a step back before responding like a hothead. If I take even five minutes to calm down, I’m back to being even-keeled.

It’s helpful to share your triggers and learn what other people’s are. Because we’re all wired differently, your peers may not be aware of how their behavior is affecting you, and vice versa.

What would my closest friends say my pet peeves are?

What’s an example of a time when I’ve overreacted and later regretted it? What made me so worked up in that moment?

In the Pit, you feel so very alone. Doubt is your soundtrack and fear is your sustenance. You second-guess every decision as you search desperately for something solid to grasp. All you want is faith restored—that you’ll know where to go and what you should do. But you just can’t find a way out.

The first is conjuring up a public figure you admire, someone who seems to have the perfect life, and Googling “[person’s name] struggle.” There is always a story. It’s a good reminder that being in the Pit is universal.

Brain imaging studies show that when we picture ourselves doing something, the same parts of our brain are engaged as if we were actually doing that activity.

Australian psychologist Alan Richardson discovered that a group of basketball players who were instructed to visualize themselves making free throws every day but who did not physically practice did almost as well as another group who practiced shooting free throws for twenty minutes a day. Another study compared people who went to the gym every day with people who imagined themselves working out. The group who went to the gym every day increased their muscle strength by 30 percent; the group who ran through the workout in their heads increased their strength by 13.5 percent—almost half the benefit!