The Making of a Manager: What to Do When Everyone Looks to You

by Julie Zhuo

Good design at its core is about understanding people and their needs in order to create the best possible tools for them. I’m drawn to design for a lot of the same reasons that I’m drawn to management—it feels like a deeply human endeavor to empower others.

Your role as a manager is not to do the work yourself, even if you are the best at it, because that will only take you so far. Your role is to improve the purpose, people, and process of your team to get as high a multiplier effect on your collective outcome as you can.

It takes

repeated good experiences to build up to a level of trust where you can be vulnerable and compassionately critical with each other.

You can also get an approximate reading by asking your report, “What are the qualities of a perfect manager for you?” and evaluating how you compare to the description you get back.

What caring does mean, however, is doing your best to help your report be successful and fulfilled in her work.

If, on the other hand, she feels that you care about her no matter what, and nothing can change that—not even failure—then you will get honesty in return.

We are more than the output of our work on a particular team at a particular moment in time, and true respect reflects that.

what motivates him, what his long-term career aspirations are, how he’s generally feeling about his work, and more.

Remember that your job is to be a multiplier for your people. If

you can remove a barrier, provide a valuable new perspective, or increase their confidence, then you’re enabling them to be more successful.

Every morning, I’ve gotten into the habit of scanning my calendar and compiling a list of questions for each person I’m meeting with.

Your job as a manager isn’t to dole out advice or “save the day”—it’s to empower your report to find the answer herself.

Identify: These questions focus on what really matters for your report and what topics are worth spending more time on.

Understand: Once you’ve identified a topic to discuss, these next questions get at the root of the problem and what can be done about it.

Support: These questions zero in on how you can be of greatest service to your report.

If he is often wondering, What does my manager think of me? then you need to dial up your level of feedback.

Admit that you screwed up, and take meaningful action to do better in the future.

When we are going through tough times, the thing that’s often the most helpful isn’t advice or answers but empathy.

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”

“Remember that you have good values.”

Recognition for hard work, valuable skills, helpful advice, or good values can be hugely motivating if it feels genuine and specific.

“There is one quality that sets truly great managers apart from the rest: they discover what is unique about each person and then capitalize on it,” says Buckingham, the renowned management consultant who has studied hundreds of organizations and leaders. “The job of a manager . . . is to turn one person’s particular talent into performance.”

The rising stars on your team may not be clamoring for your attention, but if you help them to dream bigger and become more capable leaders, you’ll be amazed at how much more your team can do as a whole.

Yes, you lose out on their individual contributions, but the fog lifts for everyone else. They can let their guard down. Collaboration becomes more honest and productive, so the work of the team as a whole improves.

personal and organizational values play a huge role in whether someone will be happy on a given team.

At the end of the day, if you don’t believe someone is set up to succeed in his current role, the kindest thing you can do is to be honest with him and support him in moving on.

If this person were not already at the organization, would I recommend that another team hire him or her knowing what I know?

When you decide to let someone go, do it respectfully and directly. Don’t open it up to discussion (it isn’t one), and don’t regard it as a failure on the part of your report.

“Perhaps it’s you who shouldn’t be his manager, not the other way around.”

During this phase, make sure you address the following: What a great job looks like for your report, compared to a mediocre or bad job What advice you have to help your report get started on the right foot Common pitfalls your report should avoid

As the name “task-specific” implies, you provide this kind of feedback about something that someone did after the fact. For example, after your report presents an analysis, tell her what you thought she did well and what could go better in the future. Be as precise and as detailed as you can.

When you zoom out and look at many examples of task-specific feedback for a report, what themes emerge? Does he make decisions quickly or slowly? Is he a process wizard or an unconventional thinker? Does he gravitate toward pragmatic or idealistic solutions?

For example, if your report led a brainstorming session, instead of sending just your task-specific feedback, you might collect and share what the rest of the room thought as well.

Because it’s so comprehensive, you should set up a meeting with your report to discuss the feedback in person, as well as document the learnings in writing so that both of you can refer to it in the future.

The review isn’t fair. If things really were so dire, why hasn’t this come up until now? This must be a mistake. The review is fair, but my manager was negligent and didn’t realize I was underperforming until the end of the half.

The review is fair, but my manager wasn’t honest in sharing feedback with me along the way, so I didn’t have a chance to improve.

Managers who pop in out of the blue and throw down new requirements can breed resentment with their team (just Google the term “Swoop and Poop.”)

It’s impossible to expect perfection. We are only human. Failures will occur, projects will miss deadlines, and people will make mistakes. That’s okay. But when these things happen, readjusting expectations as quickly as possible helps people recover from errors with grace. You demonstrate care and maturity when you preempt bigger issues down the road.

Where did I miss out on setting clear expectations, and how might I do better in the future?

The mark of a great coach is that others improve under your guidance. Maybe you’d like to see your reports dream bigger, accomplish more, or overcome the barriers that get in their way. The question that should always be in the back of your mind is: Does my feedback lead to the change I’m hoping for?

“Give me more feedback.”

“Give me more feedback related to my skills and my career trajectory.”

you know this to be true: What you intend to say and what the listener hears are not always the same. You

The best way to make your feedback heard is to make the listener feel safe, and to show that you’re saying it because you care about her and want her to succeed.

“Okay, let’s make sure we’re on the same page—what are your takeaways and next steps?”

Writing can clarify the points being made as well as be reread and referenced in the future.

Your last few deliverables weren’t comprehensive enough to hit the mark, so let’s discuss why that is and how to address it. I have a few questions about your latest work—do you have a moment to walk me through it?

When I [heard/observed/reflected on] your [action/behavior/output], I felt concerned because . . . I’d like to understand your perspective and talk about how we can resolve this.

Own the decision. Be firm, and don’t open it up for discussion.