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Task-specific feedback is most effective when the action performed is still fresh in your report’s memory, so share it as soon as you can.
At its best, task-specific feedback becomes a lightweight, habitual part of your day, and your reports benefit from getting small doses of coaching in everything you see them do.
When you zoom out and look at many examples of task-specific feedback for a report, what themes emerge?
By connecting the dots across multiple examples, you can help people understand how their unique interests, personalities, and habits affect their ability to have impact.
When you give behavioral feedback, you are making a statement about how you perceive that person,
Three-hundred-and-sixty-degree feedback is feedback aggregated from multiple perspectives, which means it tends to be a more complete and objective view of how someone is doing.
What is X doing especially well that X should do more of?, and b) What should X change or stop doing?
Because it’s so comprehensive, you should set up a meeting with your report to discuss the feedback in person, as well as document the learnings in writing so that both of you can refer to it in the future.
EVERY MAJOR DISAPPOINTMENT IS A FAILURE TO SET EXPECTATIONS
“I understand that you’d like to work toward a promotion, but here are the gaps I’m seeing . . . ,” you’re showing that you want to help her reach her goal.
setting expectations helps with both problems. At the beginning of the project, let your report know how you’re planning to be involved. Be explicit that you’d like to review the work twice a week and talk through the most important problems together. Tell him which decisions you expect to make, and which he should make.
By setting expectations that you’d like to hear about any concerns with the launch date as soon as possible, you establish that it’s safe to talk about problems even in the early phases.
readjusting expectations as quickly as possible helps people recover from errors with grace.
The issue was that he didn’t see what was complicated about the way he explained things. And if he couldn’t see it, he couldn’t fix it.
Maybe you’d like to see your reports dream bigger, accomplish more, or overcome the barriers that get in their way. The question that should always be in the back of your mind is: Does my feedback lead to the change I’m hoping for?
give feedback more often
“Give me more feedback related to my skills and my career trajectory.”
His team longed for additional attention about them as people, not just on their output.
The best way to make your feedback heard is to make the listener feel safe, and to show that you’re saying it because you care about her and want her to succeed.
“Does this feedback resonate with you? Why or why not?”
The first is a verbal confirmation: “Okay, let’s make sure we’re on the same page—what are your takeaways and next steps?” The second is to summarize via email what was discussed.
Gather and share 360-degree feedback when you suspect your message isn’t landing—it’s a powerful way to relay that others are seeing the same thing.
Make your feedback as specific as possible.
Clarify what success looks and feels like.
Charged language or declarations that are personal (“you’re thoughtless” instead of “your action was thoughtless”) immediately puts the other person on the defensive.
The best way to give critical feedback is to deliver it directly and dispassionately. Plainly say what you perceive the issue to be, what made you feel that way, and how you’d like to work together to resolve the concern.
“Feedback is a gift.” It costs time and effort to share, but when we have it, we’re better off. So let’s give it generously.
When the sailing gets rocky, the manager is often the first person others turn to, so it’s common to feel an intense pressure to know what to do or say.
great management typically comes from playing to your strengths rather than from fixing your weaknesses.
StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath or StandOut by Marcus Buckingham.
(There’s even a term to describe the cognitive bias where people who aren’t actually very skilled have a tendency to think they’re better than they are: the Dunning-Kruger effect.)
What do you think are the biggest things holding me back from having greater impact?
On our last project together, in what ways did you see me having impact? What do you think I could have done to have more impact?
One of the things I’m working on is being more decisive. How do you think I’m doing on that? Any suggestions on how I can do better here?
if I approached challenges with the belief that I could get better at anything if I put in the effort, then the vicious cycle of anxious self-evaluation would be broken.
What separates triggers from normal negative reactions is that they have an outsize effect on you specifically.
By knowing what triggers you, you can catch yourself in the moment and take a step back before responding like a hothead.
The stories we tell ourselves from a few scant pieces of evidence are often flat-out wrong, especially when we’re in the Pit. Nine times out of ten, the other person is not out to get you. Your coworkers don’t think you’re an idiot. And, yes, you deserve this job.
Imagine yourself succeeding wildly at something you’re nervous about. Got a big presentation tomorrow? Imagine yourself walking into the room and flashing a smile at the audience. Picture yourself standing tall and speaking with poise. See the crowd attentive and nodding along as someone asks a hard question and you answer it confidently. The key to successful visualization is to make the scene as specific as possible.
Admitting your struggles and asking for help is the opposite of weakness—in fact, it shows courage and self-awareness.
Studies show that if you write down five things you’re grateful for every night, you’ll feel happier in the long run.
How amazing it must be, I thought, to waltz up in front of hundreds of people and feel genuinely excited instead of terrified.
Always thank people for feedback. Even if you don’t agree with what’s said, receive it graciously and recognize that it took effort to give. If others find you defensive, you’ll get less feedback in the future, which will only hurt your growth.
The key is to treat your manager as a coach, not as a judge. Can you imagine a star athlete trying to hide his weaknesses from his coach?
When I started to see 1:1s with my manager as an opportunity for focused learning, I got so much more out of it.
The answer is usually yes. If spending ten hours being trained helps you be even 1 percent more efficient at your job, then it’s a good return on investment
good meetings are simple and straightforward. You leave them feeling the same way every time: The meeting was a great use of my time. I learned something new that will help me be more effective at my job. I left with a clearer sense of what I should do next. Everyone was engaged. I felt welcomed.
In a decision meeting, you’re framing the different options on the table and asking a decision-maker to make a call.
You don’t need consensus, but those whom the decision affects should feel that the way it was made was efficient and fair.
Presents all credible options objectively and with relevant background information, and includes the team’s recommendation if there is one
