Here are some facts about getting older. You hate young people because their manners, clothes and speech, as well as their taste in books, music, film and television, are all inferior. You leak when you laugh, cough, hiccup, sneeze. Putting on a bra becomes nearly impossible. Your arms don’t bend that way anymore. Nylons are even worse, because you can lose your balance and fall. You go through a second puberty, sprouting hair from your ears and nose while your eyebrows and lashes thin and your upper lip grows hairs as thick and sharp as wire. You wait all day to have a drink. You nap when you
...more
