Like so many of us, I cared for both of my parents. So much so that I inherited my father’s gut-clenching fear. “Don’t upset your mother,” entered my body and came out as “Don’t upset the Other.” It manifested as an obsessive vigilance wherein I learned to watch the Other’s every step, every breath, every pause, or furrow of a brow for clues as to what they might say or do next. The vigilance was honed until it became, if you will, a skill, a superpower, all in service to not upsetting the Other.
