Reboot: Leadership and the Art of Growing Up

by Jerry Colonna

“Why?” I asked inelegantly and in a very uncoachlike way. “Why do you need to be right?” She released a deep breath, a sigh, “Because if I was wrong, my Dad would wipe me out.” And the tears flowed, and the sobs took even my breath away. “I was never sure I was safe. I had to prove myself worthy every night. He would grill me over dinner about my day and the choices I had made. I learned early on that the only way to survive was to be right.” Over the next few weeks, on guard for her need to be right, we carefully went to work changing her approach to the co-founder. For her, the crucible moment came in facing her shame, acknowledging who she really had been. As a result, she got to choose how she wanted to manage, what kind of company she wanted to work for, and who she wanted to be as a leader. We forge our truest identity by putting our heads into the mouths of the scariest demons, the realities of our lives. Only by facing our fears, our prejudices, our passions, can we transform the energy that is the source of our aggression, the source of our confusion, the source of our struggle.