The Day We Met

by Roxie Cooper

You meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it

Love this phrase.

We are both still, silent. Her eyes are drawn back to mine. It’s that moment when you can just feel a connection with someone, when your heart starts to beat a little quicker.

Connection begibs here.

We respect each other, love each other. We have lives independent from one another; we each understand the importance of having time and friends away from each other. She has weekends away with the girls, I’ll go away with the guys.

Because for the last twenty hours, he did belong to me, and I belonged to him. In that parallel universe, we belonged to each other. Now, we’re going to be thrown back into reality, and I hate it.

Once a year. I just want her to be in my life.

Very often, the most beautiful, sensual moments are actually when nothing happens.

The hurt burned inside me, but it was one I deserved.

The worst part about it all is that the reason he isn’t in my life is because I’m jealous. That’s it. The only reason. Plain, old green-eyed jealousy.

It wasn’t long before she could no longer walk and she didn’t even have the energy to speak. Just watching her attempt to muster the energy to smile broke my heart. This woman – my mum – who used to be so full of life, now crippled with … something.

They say you’ve got to hit rock bottom before you can start healing again.

I guess we fell in love with very different people to what we are now. People change.

‘I’ve done a lot of thinking in the past few months. Well, years, really. One thing I know is that I need you in my life. It’s better when you’re in it. And I know I can’t have you in the way I want you. I’ve finally accepted that now,’ I say.

‘For the longest time, I held on to that glimmer of hope that you’d finally realise what we had was so special, so beautiful, so amazing, you’d wake up one day and realise you needed it – me – more than your wife. The last few years have made me see that’s never going to happen. I suppose I’ve grown up and become less selfish. I know you’ve struggled with the guilt, more so than me if we’re being honest. And if the only way I can have you in my life is as a friend, then so be it.’

Find someone who accepts you for who you are. Let them love you unconditionally. Let them love your quirks, your scars, let them love you when you’re happy and when you’re mad. Don’t strive to be perfect, none of us are. Embrace your imperfections and make sure the person you fall in love with adores them.

Don’t hold grudges, especially against those you love. They’re a waste of everyone’s time. Don’t push people away because you’re too stubborn, one day they might not come back.

‘Rules are made to be broken, Stephanie,’

I don’t know how to define content or happy. They’re both just things we feel. I guess when your time is up, all you can hope for is that you’re happy with your life and there are no regrets. Mistakes, yes – we all make them. But as my mum said, we’re all human. Perfectly imperfect … I’m happy with that.