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What he cannot see is that in spite of the tears drying on my cheeks, my heart is hard.
But I would give up the sun and moon and stars if it meant saving him. Him—the boy with no name and yet a thousand names. The boy whose hands are stained with the blood of stars. The boy I love.
“A tailor’s worth is not measured by his fame, but by the happiness he brings,”
“Don’t work so hard you—” “Become the kite that never flies,” I finished for him. “I know.”
“You are meant for more, Maia.” I turned away. “How can I be? I’m not a man.” “If you were, you would have been sent to war. The gods are protecting you.”
My whole life, I’d been told what I couldn’t do because I was a girl.
“How can I feel pain if I can’t feel my legs?” he’d tried to joke.
I stared back. The hawk’s expression was—almost human.
I took a bite of my new apple. And yet, maybe he wasn’t all bad. Maybe.
My heart was fluttering so fast I almost didn’t see Edan’s wink as he followed the emperor out. I shook myself from my trance. There was something strange about Emperor Khanujin. Strange and wonderful, I thought. Or strange and terrible.
As I tied the belt about my waist, a black hawk with white-tipped wings cried out and circled in the night sky.
“Seize the wind,” I whispered. “Don’t become the kite that never flies.”
“Feel lucky,” said Edan. “Your scissors chose to speak to you. It is a gift, one you may need.” His voice turned soft. “One that can go away if you are no longer worthy of its power.”
“Enchanters don’t have friends,” Edan said, clearing his throat. I got the sense he’d revealed something he hadn’t wanted to. “Good night, Mistress Tamarin.” “Master,” I called after him. He was going to be the doom of me one day. I just knew it.
Tiredly, I laid my head against his chest. He didn’t move. Didn’t wrap his arms around me, or push me away. But his heartbeat quickened a notch. “I’m sorry, Maia,” he whispered. It might have meant more to me had I known that this was the first time Edan the Lord Enchanter had ever apologized to anyone.
“One woven with the laughter of the sun,” I whispered. “Another embroidered with the tears of the moon, and lastly, one painted with the blood of the stars.”
“Who said it was tea?” Edan rubbed his hands, reveling in my horrified expression. “Ginger’s often used in potions. Truth serums, love potions…” I made a gasping sound. “What am I drinking?” He reached for the canteen and took a sip. “Ginger tea.”
Mesmerized by the glistening silken threads, and the possibility that my task wasn’t so impossible after all, I hugged him without thinking. “Thank you!”
“I’m not one of your brothers,” he reminded me tersely, “and I’m not your friend.” He sounded like he was trying to scold me but couldn’t quite muster enough edge in his tone. “I’m here to make sure you don’t get killed.”
My head was still buried in my hands when the hawk returned, perching on the branch above me. The tip of its wing brushed across my back, and I looked up. Its feathers were ink black, wings tipped milky white, and its eyes a bright, gleaming yellow—and curiously familiar.
I started to wrap my arms around him, but his eyes were yellow and bright like the sun…they frightened me.
“Sewing with magic is a rare gift,” he said. “Rarer still in the hands of a talented tailor such as you. Between friends, I will admit Lady Sarnai has set you up for failure, but I have faith you can make the dresses. I’ll help you any way I can.” I raised an eyebrow. “I thought you said we weren’t friends.” “We weren’t. But enchanters are fickle.” He offered me a small grin. “I might have changed my mind.”
“You have three tasks: to acquire the sun, the moon, and the stars for Amana’s dresses. These tasks translate into three trials: one of the body, one of the mind, one of the soul. Sunlight was a trial of the body. How much suffering you could endure.”
Edan’s hand hovered above my forehead, but he pulled it away and didn’t touch me. “Sleep well, my Maia.”
I shivered from the intimacy of his touch. My heart—my rebellious heart—began to race. “And…what if you leave him?” Edan let go of my chin. “Then I would be trapped in my spirit form forever.” His spirit form… “A hawk,” I breathed. “Clever girl,” he whispered, letting go of my hand.
people.” The wind flattened his hair, emphasizing his boyishness as he turned his gaze at me. “You make me remember a part of myself I’d forgotten.” “Sounds like I’d have liked the old Edan more,” I said quietly. “Probably,” he admitted. “He was less proud. More earnest, but also more reckless. More boy than man.”
“And your favorite color is blue. Like the ocean.” And your eyes, I couldn’t help thinking.
“Jinn,” he said. “One of my first names.”
“I do care,” he repeated. “But when you’re an enchanter, there isn’t much time for romancing. No girl has ever caused me to question this.” His voice became even softer, if that was possible. “Then again, none of the girls were you.”
“You’re quite oblivious at times, my xitara.”
He smiled, seeing the flowers tucked behind my ear; then he cleared his throat. “You accepted them.” “Was I not supposed to?” “A man who wishes to court a woman brings her flowers.”
“It is an illusion to assume we choose whom we love. I cannot change how I feel about you. I would move the sun and the moon if it meant being with you. As for my oath…I cannot promise to break it, but I would do everything in my power to make you happy, Maia. That I can promise.”
His gaze bored into me, deep and penetrating. Melting my resistance. “I know one thing, Maia Tamarin—being with you makes me happier than I have ever been.”
I couldn’t fight my heart any longer. “I’m glad you became an enchanter,” I said fiercely. “I know you’ve suffered, far more than you let on. But if you hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met you.”
A little voice inside urged me to tell Edan about my encounter with the demon: I could still feel his claws on my neck.
Edan’s mouth set into a line; he was about to make a confession. “I didn’t mean it as little lamb, you know. You were always too strong and brave for that.” “But—” “In Old A’landan, it does mean little lamb. But in Narat, what I grew up speaking, it means…brightest one.” “Brightest one,” I whispered. The words sang in my heart. “You called me that, even when we’d just met?” “I meant it for your tailoring skills then,” Edan teased. “And now for what you are to me.”
“It’s said that she gave him a pair of scissors,” Ci’an replied. “Enchanted to imbue their owner with a piece of her power.” I went very still. “No one’s ever seen them, but I imagine they must still exist, passed from generation to generation.”
“And I’ll have you. The sun and moon only see each other one day out of the entire year. Even if it’s an hour or a day—I’d rather be with you for that time than not at all.”
I knew then that we were like two pieces of cloth, sewn together for life. Our stitches couldn’t be undone. I wouldn’t let them.
“Put it in their tea,” he interrupted. “And yours. It’ll make you sleep. And when you wake, you’ll be happy too.”
He’s free, I reminded myself as I collapsed onto my bed. That’s all that matters. And with that, I fell asleep with the saddest of smiles on my lips.
But I couldn’t be happy forever. Though I’d refused to acknowledge the truth, deep down I’d known that, in setting him free, I’d ensured that Edan and I would never be together.
“You said these dresses are not of this world,” I replied, slowly formulating my lie. “They freed me as well.”
“This is how I choose to be free,” he interrupted gently. “Until I know you are safe from Bandur—and Khanujin—I must find a way to protect you. And when I do, I will come back and take you with me. You are my oath now, Maia Tamarin. And you’ll never be free of me.”
My knees should have shaken, and my stomach should have clenched, but I felt nothing. I looked at him defiantly. “I’m not afraid.” “Then it has already begun,” said Bandur. “Demons do not feel fear.” The cold surging in my chest rioted, and I let out a suffocated gasp. “No. No.” “Yes, with every second, you become more like me. Soon the drums will only remind you of the heart you once had. Every beat you miss, every chill that touches you is a sign of the darkness folding over you. One day, it will take you away from all that you know and cherish: your memories, your face, your name. Not even
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It was the tale of a boy, too. A boy who could fly but not swim. A boy with the powers of the gods but the shackles of a slave. A boy who loved me.
