How Not to Die Alone
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Read between July 17, 2019 - February 1, 2020
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The blood draining from his face.
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That hearing that song crippled him with pain?
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made him want to curl into the fetal position?
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Andrew’s eyelid was twitching uncontrollably. He
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Andrew followed her, a waft of fetid air hitting him before he’d even crossed the threshold.
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In among the pages detailing uneventful holidays and unremarkable school sports days there was a photo of the family, their faces looking pixelated from where the paper had been scrunched up.
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Peggy asked, her tone deliberately casual.
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There were tears pooling in her eyes and she was taking in deep lungfuls of air.
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all designed to cheer him up, without even a hint of patronizing him or doing the sad head tilt.
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Andrew felt a lump forming in his throat.
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Andrew wasn’t quite sure what the look Peggy was giving him meant,
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where Andrew thought he might have said something far too weird,
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And that’s when I noticed people avoiding me, deliberately not catching my eye.
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that I’d done something wrong and was inconveniencing everybody somehow.
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Peggy gave Andrew a look as if wondering whether she should continue.
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“Let’s just say kindness wasn’t exactly i...
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and he left us in doubt as to exactly how we’d let him down.
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She talked about him like he’d been God’s gift, as if he were a war hero who’d drifted out to sea on a raft never to be heard of again, despite the fact he was shacked up with this woman four streets away.”
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People think loss is the same for everyone, but it’s different in every case, you know?”
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“Top stuff,”
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He had no real idea what was fashionable these days.
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Occasionally he thought about replacing some of his particularly old stuff, but then he’d see someone young and apparently trendy wearing a shirt that looked exactly like one he’d hung on to since the early nineties, so what was the point?
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with 50 percent accuracy—“beer and good times,”
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If he got there too early he’d be forced into making conversation. Too late and he’d feel like an interloper.
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Andrew edged around to the foot of the bed.
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He was really going to have to say something now before he bottled it. “So
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search with the requisite solemnity.
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“Well it’s clear to me that the bloke had life absolutely figured out,”
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Choked on a marshmallow?
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glut
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at times Andrew and Peggy regretfully sacrificed respectfulness for pragmatism,
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soul...
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maiso...
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complete with a dead rat sporting a grotesque g...
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every room feeling pregnant w...
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she’d been forced to act on her ultimatum,
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loos
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with puffy red eyes
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He even attempted to bake some biscuits, but the end results had resembled something a child might use for snowman’s eyes, so he had abandoned them in favor of shop-bought.
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And so began a series of agonizing evenings spent trying to choose songs that perfectly encapsulated Ella’s essence.
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He wanted to capture the whole spectrum—upbeat
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u...
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The outtakes and the between-song badinage meant as much to him as the most soaring melody.
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He’d just have to hope what he’d chosen would have the right sort of alchemy to make it a source of comfort to Peggy
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his stomach rumbling angrily,
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ensconced
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he affected an air of nonchalance to try to hide the nagging voice telling him this might have been a weird thing for him to have done.
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“I solemnly swear to listen to it within the next few days, or weeks, or whatever.”
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He realized Peggy was looking at him with a twinkle in her eyes.
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Andrew blew a dismissive and unintentionally wet raspberry.