Speak

by Laurie Halse Anderson

The truth is not meant to harm us. It is meant to set us free.

We fall into clans: Jocks, Country Clubbers, Idiot Savants, Cheerleaders, Human Waste, Eurotrash, Future Fascists of America, Big Hair Chix, the Marthas, Suffering Artists, Thespians, Goths, Shredders. I am clanless.

I am Outcast.

THE FIRST TEN LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL 1. We are here to help you. 2. You will have enough time to get to your class before the bell rings. 3. The dress code will be enforced. 4. No smoking is allowed on school grounds. 5. Our football team will win the championship this year. 6. We expect more of you here. 7. Guidance counselors are always available to listen. 8. Your schedule was created with your needs in mind. 9. Your locker combination is private. 10. These will be the years you look back on fondly.

I bet he suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder. Vietnam or Iraq—one of those TV wars.

All that crap you hear on TV about communication and expressing feelings is a lie. Nobody really wants to hear what you have to say.

My goal is to go home and take a nap.

My parents didn’t raise me to be religious. The closest we come to worship is the Trinity of Visa, MasterCard, and American Express.

But they are so cute. And they cheer on our boys, inciting them to violence and, we hope, victory.

The Parents are making threatening noises, turning dinner into performance art, with Dad doing his Arnold Schwarzenegger imitation and Mom playing Glenn Close in one of her psycho roles. I am the Victim.

I would be lucky to get an invitation to my own funeral, with my reputation.

I don’t know what I’m doing in the next five minutes and she has the next ten years figured out. I’ll worry about making it out of ninth grade alive. Then I’ll think about a career path.