This discovery truly upset me. I was not who I thought I was. Surprisingly, however, the desire to stab someone with my pen disappeared. In retrospect, I would say that the behavioral urge had manifested itself in explicit knowledge-had been translated from emotion and image to concrete realization-and had no further "reason" to exist. The "impulse" had only occurred, because of the question I was attempting to answer: "How can men do terrible things to one another?" I meant other men, of course-bad men-but I had still asked the question. There was no reason for me to assurne that I would
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