Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents: Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries & Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy

by Lindsay C. Gibson

To identify the desired outcome for an interaction, ask yourself the following questions. If I got what I wanted from this interaction, what would that look like? (Perhaps you set a limit with them and only agree to what you really want to do.) Is the outcome I’m considering within my control, or is it up to them? (Try picking a goal that you can make happen.) Am I fixated on needing them to act differently? (If you’re looking for them to change, how about picking a different outcome that is within your power.) Is my goal for this interaction my internal growth, acting differently, or both? (You could promote your growth by staying aware of your feelings or try new behaviors by speaking up when you disagree.) Reviewing this checklist in advance keeps you focused so you don’t come out of interactions agreeing to something you didn’t want. Avoid any regret by making your preferred outcome a priority in the first place.