There’s this kind of irresolvable trap that occurs when you’re too young to have any power but old enough to know that you want some. It’s the trap of being too inarticulate to have the clarity people expect when you speak of the depressing black hole of systematic racism. What I wanted to say was how it felt to grow up in a country where the consensus seemed to be that Chinese culture looked best as an accessory on a white person. This trap made me think the classmate in the hallway making fun of my Chinese last name while sporting a Chinese character tattoo above her ass was the person I had
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