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What I typically hear young people say is, ‘What am I doing on this earth?’ ‘What is the purpose of life?’ ‘Why do we do what we do?’ I connect very deeply with their existential vacuum and the questions they pose and can empathise so much with their angst.
Emotionally, the person might feel excessively sad, miserable, anxious, worried, guilty, ashamed, frustrated, agitated, angry or just numb and apathetic. Physically, she might experience aches and pains, drained of all energy, have a heavy pit in the stomach, panic attacks, appetite changes, sleep disturbances, gastric troubles, fatigue, exhaustion, lethargy or bouts of agitation. Cognitively, the brain might feel sluggish, dull, not be able to think clearly, concentrate, constantly ruminating, churning in a sea of negativity. Behaviourally, inactive, lethargic, passive or losing interest in
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On the other hand, a person could express the anguish through raging, aggression, violence or violating social norms. In terms of occupation or functionality, he might not be able to carry out day-to-day activities like getting out of bed, going to school, college or work, numbing his pain with excessive video gaming, alcohol, drugs, self-harm or taking high risks.
pentagon of Ps: pleasing, performing, perfecting, proving and pretending.
Change the Channel Owning Our Light Upholding Personal Agency Reauthoring Our Stories A Day at a Time Growing Our Tribe Enduring Adversity and Finding Our North Star
In Narrative Therapy, we have a simple yet powerful mantra: The problem is the problem, the person is not the problem.
‘I am not good enough’, ‘I am not worthy’, ‘I do not belong’ become the incessant chants in our brains. It is declared with such conviction that it is no surprise that we start believing them.
Each one of us needs to tell ourselves (with a hand on our heart), ‘I am after all the only person I can change’.
We start pathologising and defining ourselves through difficulties, diagnoses and disorders: ‘I am Depressed’, ‘I am OCD’ or ‘I am Anxious’. Unfortunately, others start defining us in the same way. We see ourselves and others see us as being ‘weak’, ‘not strong enough’ and ‘a problem’.
When we get lost and lose track and hope, it is crucial for us to look for our North Star--that one thing that gives our life direction, value and meaning. North Star is not a destination but a direction.
It is only when we are comfortable with our darkness that we can connect with our own light.
Each one glows and radiates immense light; however, when they combine together, it can create remarkable alchemy.
