But It's Your Family . . .: Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath

by Sherrie Campbell

Being genetically related to our toxic family members doesn’t make us family. The real definition of family refers to constructs much deeper than bloodline or DNA. Family is about love, sacrifice, honesty, protection, support, unconditional love, reciprocity, acceptance, security, respect, protection, loyalty, and safety. It is not about cruelty, gang-up warfare, triangulation, manipulation, abandonment, lying, criticism, selfishness, betrayal, or gossip. When a family is full of these negative qualities, it is a family in name only. It is really merely a group of toxic people to whom we happen to be biologically related. No family is perfect, but not all families are plagued with deep patterns of superficial connections, destructive games, and psychological abuse. The psychological aspects of family should create a safe space for everyone to be wholly who they are. Family should create security, not break it down.