But It's Your Family . . .: Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath

by Sherrie Campbell

To feel emotionally connected to and unconditionally loved and accepted by our family, especially our parents, is profoundly fulfilling. Gibson tells us it is this connected closeness that helps us develop a sense that we are loved for exactly who we are. This type of relationship can only be established when our parents seek to genuinely know us, not judge or manipulate us. When parents have the necessary self-awareness, they love nothing more than interacting with their children. It is the joy of their lives to experience life with their children and to genuinely know who they are as people. Healthy parents have an open-door policy when it comes to discussing and sharing emotions. If they have somehow hurt their children, their only desire is to do whatever it takes to talk it through and fix it. Attacking, being cruel, or cutting their children down would not enter the mind of a healthy parent. If, on some rare occasion, a healthy parent is unkind to their children, he or she takes the necessary steps to repair the shame they caused and own the responsibility for their wrongdoing.