When our spouse complains to us about the poor treatment our toxic parents act out on them, our toxic parents will accuse our spouse of being too sensitive and making up things. In fact, they will pull out the manipulative techniques of projection and deflection and accuse our spouse of leaving them out, of making them feel unwelcomed, thereby scapegoating our spouse for all of their own behaviors.
So spot on I couldn’t have said it better- my husband doesn’t stand up to her on my behalf and it leads to a lot of anger and resentment bc he is her baby boy and now that we have two kids - I really am not needed- she has her son and her grandkids so why put up with me constantly calling out her abuses??
