We guess blindly then filter events through that lens. If you don’t rate the batsman, it was flat. If a spinner did well it was a Bunsen. Low score without wickets: dead. With wickets: unplayable. Physicists are rarely involved, but pitch talk is so vague it’s difficult to prove anything wrong. What if an unplayable track is played well? The day-night format is the Pitch Wanker Expansion Pack. More grass to protect the pink ball could add seam movement. More polish might swing longer. Moist evening air might hoop. Or none of those things might happen, but we’ll use confirmation bias to blot
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