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Kindle Notes & Highlights
Like most good-looking things, my house is high maintenance. My house makes it so I never, ever have any extra money. If my house starts to notice I’ve been squirreling away a hundred dollars here or there to try to get my kids to a national park for a week, the house breaks something. I think it has abandonment issues.
“Do you think forgiveness is a skill learned through practice, like playing chess, or a talent given to you at birth, like singing in tune?”
“Some people have to practice forgiveness and will never be naturals. They’ll either do the work and get awesome at it but always have to think it over—or never do the work and die with a sack of hurts the size of an elephant.
“Some people, like your mother, forgive so naturally they don’t notice it happening. They’ll get hurt twice as often because they are so quick to forgive but feel it half as much because of their ability to let things go.”
“I like people who are pretty kind deep down. And also who tell the truth. I like people who show up when they say they’re going to. Oh, and people who don’t think they’re better than everyone else.”
I realize I have been driving my life with my body. Trying somehow to carry my worries and sorrows and insecurities on my shoulders, as though I could wad up all the hurt and fear I’ve felt since John moved out, stuff it in a backpack, and hike through life with it.
Did you, like, text Dad and tell him no Diet Coke? How can you hate Diet Coke, Mom? Diet Coke is the foundation of America. Why do you hate this country so much?
New York. The city that never sits.
Sondra is the most elegant name in the world, and anyone named Sondra should be staying in a beautiful hotel like this whenever she travels anywhere.
the most important thing is we don’t mortgage our futures to the past.
I had wanted to feel adored, but only by my husband. I didn’t want to be intimate with anyone but John, and I couldn’t imagine ever feeling any other way. As angry as I was, I still loved John, a feeling so real and so inexplicable it was like an itch on an amputated limb.
You’re not reading books. You’re living life. You’re doing all the things you haven’t been able to do since your jerk asshole douchebag left you with nothing but two kids and a closet full of mom jeans.”
The daughter you wrecked your life for, Cori
“women who aren’t quite ready to give up.”
I am the child of a single mother. Based on that, I have the sense to know that a week off from single motherhood once every three years is not an indulgence—it’s a necessity. The fact that you’re getting time to yourself is nothing to be ashamed of.”
Sometimes a book about other people’s problems is way better than your own.
when you take positive steps in your life, the universe rewards you by making your path forward easier.
people who are happy to pay a dollar for every ten calories.
unpleasant emotions will pass through me faster if I name them and feel them.
shark. I don’t want to go back there. I don’t want to put on the old, soft lavender T-shirt I sleep in and climb into bed and read myself to sleep like I do every other night. I want to live! I want to taste every bite of the cookie of life!
My point is when we are young, it’s hard to choose who to love. When we are older, it becomes an imperative.”
“I know I’m supposed to be living the wild life right now, but dating a twentysomething would just be gross. Like some kind of internship gone wrong.”
Turns out you can’t buy—or date—happiness.”
We make eye contact. I am thinking: Boy, this guy can banter. And my, but his eyes are nice. I’m just starting to consider skipping dinner and going straight to kissing when the server appears.
Hahaha. Oh amy!
“New York is a smorgasbord,”
Every time some friend’s child makes me wonder if I should have kids, I remind myself what genetics would actually have in store for me: moody, weepy, rebellious.
“Dad says people walk away from their families when they are trying to escape themselves,” she tells me. “He says we have to have compassion, because they may lose their loved ones, but they’ll never outrun themselves.”
“She would add that those with the humility to come back and try to fix things deserve a chance to do so.”
“Everyone knows the best medicine is a kiss from your mom.”
I get this now. I get now that you can love what you have, love your kids and your life and your friends, and still want more. I get that it’s ok to go out and get more—more love, more friendship, more fulfillment—and still be a wonderful mom.
I finally understand that traditional math does not apply to mothers: I can be 100 percent a mother and, though it isn’t easy, still be 100 percent myself as well. It means changing how I think. It means understanding that to care for my children well, I must never again forget to care for myself.
