“How was your day, dear?” I ask. “The usual. People lighting shit on fire, people getting drunk and lighting shit on fire, and Eric Fellows demanding I put in a retraction this week that he wasn’t drinking vodka when the sheriff gave him a ticket for riding one of his cows down Main Street,” she tells me. “Wait, so he wasn’t drunk when he did that?” “Oh, he was drunk. He just wants to make sure everyone knows he was drinking whiskey and not vodka, because vodka is a sissy drink, according to him,” she says with a shake of her head.
