Things You Save in a Fire

by Katherine Center

I refused to take his meaning. “I don’t have time for company,” I said. I had my shift at the station, my second job as a self-defense instructor, ten hours a week of volunteering with Big Sisters, a marathon to train for, and weekends helping my dad build an addition to his house. I barely had time for sleep, much less “company.”

vocal fry,

“I just wanted to invite you to come to crochet club.”

“There are a lot of different methods for chipping away at forgiveness. Just saying the words ‘I forgive you,’ even to yourself, can be a powerful start.” She did not pause to see if I’d say them but kept right on. “Forgiveness is about a mind-set of letting go.”

“Then it’s about accepting that the person who hurt you is flawed, like all people are, and letting that guide you to a better, more nuanced understanding of what happened.

“And then there’s a third part,” she went on, “probably the hardest, that involves trying to look at the aftermath of what happened and find ways that you benefited, not just ways you were harmed.”