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And sometimes focusing on what you can control is the only way to lessen the pang in your chest when you think about the things you can’t.
“I think you should write about the one that scares you most. Taking risks and making choices in spite of fear—it’s what makes our life story compelling.”
The day I lost my virginity, I had a half day at school and Tyrone skipped the rest of his classes to meet up with me.
Boys at this age will say whatever they need to say to get what they want, and I’ve learned to trust pretty words even less than a pretty face.
His parents kept telling him it probably wasn’t his, that a fourteen-year-old who gets pregnant her freshman year probably had a few people she was letting scratch her itch.
“The best thing a father can do for his child is love the mother.”
But some days I think the best thing Tyrone could do for Babygirl is leave her mother the hell alone.
It’s wild to miss someone so much, and yet in order to care for them you have to constantly say goodbye.
But we all make choices about people. Who we want to hold close, who we want to remain in our lives, and who we are just fine without.
The world is a turntable that never stops spinning; as humans we merely choose the tracks we want to sit out and the ones that inspire us to dance.
“Cooking is about respect. Respect for the food, respect for your space, respect for your colleagues, and respect for your diners. The chef who ignores one of those is not a chef at all.
This stuff is complicated. But it’s like I’m some long-division problem folks keep wanting to parcel into pieces, and they don’t hear me when I say: I don’t reduce, homies. The whole of me is Black. The whole of me is whole.
“You were the same way, you know? When you wanted something, you let the whole world know.”
You can’t make too much space for a father like mine in your life. Because he’ll elbow his way in and stretch the corners wide, and when he leaves all you have is the oversized empty—the gap in your heart where a parent should be.
“I told you before, sometimes following directions isn’t about stifling your creativity, it’s about showing respect. You have a complete disregard for the rules.
When you cook, you are giving people a gift.
That’s what I learned, about him and most guys: who they are when they’re giving you flowers and trying to get in your pants is not who they really are when it’s no longer spring and they’ve found a new jawn to hang out with.
“Ah, and that’s why it is magic. Not all recipes in life are easily understood or followed or deconstructed. Sometimes you have to take what is given to you and use your talents to brew the best tea possible. Yes?”
Follow your dreams, nena. The rest will figure itself out.
