More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
“You’re constantly rushing headfirst into the clutches of psychopaths and murderers. I just listened to you cackle your way through a potentially fatal car accident. You like danger.”
Cooper protested, but Park cut him off. “Please. Don’t try to deny it. You were practically humping me a minute ago. You get off on this shit. So don’t tell me you’re scared of being alone in nature for an hour.”
What if you run into an animal?” “Then there’s a 50/50 chance we’re related.”
“I’d...rather not,” Park said finally, voice muted. “Okay,” Cooper said quickly, not wanting to push. “I was only thinking of your bits.” Park snorted, getting out of the car. “You usually are.”
“It’s barbaric and unnecessary, and I’m thoroughly ashamed of myself for doing it,” Park said, his chin drawing circles in Cooper’s shoulder now. “But I hate that his scent is all over you.” He whispered that last part and slid his hands up and down Cooper’s arms. “I want you to smell like us again.” “Oh.”
But a surprising and intense defiance had risen up under the disbelieving gaze of the family. There was no way in hell he wanted any of them to see a single crack in their relationship. This guy? Really? You better believe it.
“A hare? Like on your gates?” “Shhh, god, you must have been a treat in kindergarten.
“You are,” Park said fiercely. “So good. I’m not ashamed of you. I could never be,” he added, squeezing his hip. Cooper’s breath caught. “What?” “I wasn’t trying to hide you or anything about you from anyone. I’m so proud of you, so proud I get to be with you, to be part of your life. That you chose me.”
“It wasn’t just talk for me, though,” he added after a moment. “Loving you is the privilege of my already overprivileged life. I never wanted you to feel like I was hiding you from them. I was trying to hide them from you.”
“Oliver, please. Not to be blunt, but your grandfather may have been murdered. Don’t you want answers?” “What do you want me to say?” Park turned back to him and raised and dropped his hands with a slap against his thighs. “‘Well, gang, it looks like we’ve got another mystery on our hands’?”
“Of course it means something,” Park said, quiet, cold and deadly. “You think I don’t want to find whoever did this to you right now and rip them apart? It’s taking everything I have not to completely lose myself right now. Every basic instinct inside me is screaming to shift, hunt and destroy the threat.”
“No. If it even is the Rosettis—and for once I agree with Stuart that it’s not—Sylvia’s no fool. You, on the other hand—” “Hey!” “—have made getting into sticky situations your own personal Olympic sport. Just please, for me, try not to medal for once.”
It was the second time he’d had a stranger’s spit on him in forty-eight hours, and that was something he hadn’t been able to say since college.
What am I supposed to be doing on this hike? Trying to start a...a...” “Investigation?” Park suggested. “Threesome?” Cooper finished. Park choked. “Okay. We’re obviously not a couple that should be trying to finish each other’s sentences.”
“If I wasn’t with you, I wouldn’t be with you. And that’s too terrible an idea to linger on, so let’s not.”
“I love you,” Park said, holding him against his chest. “Really love you. I mean it.” “That’s awkward, ’cause I’ve just been joking this whole time.” Park yanked on the back of his sweaty shirt. “Porcupine. Why do I have such a soft spot for bastards?”
“Can’t I leave you alone for ten minutes without someone fucking licking you?” “Nah.” Cooper grinned and stretched, his muscles loose and warm and all of the evening’s previous fears faded with endorphins. “Or didn’t you notice? I’m very lickable.”
Cooper raised his eyebrows. “Are you threatening me, Agent Bennet?” “Just informing you of my plans. If you find that threatening, I suggest you adjust yours accordingly.”
Cooper laughed, disbelieving. “Have you met me? I don’t like to talk about anything, Oliver, but I do it for you. You think it’s fun for me to tell you about my dead mother and my childhood bullies and my psychopath partner? It’s not. Do you think it makes me feel good when you see me vomiting because I ate too much too fast for my fucked-up gut or when you come back to the apartment and I haven’t dressed or showered or moved because my anxiety is spinning out? It doesn’t. It’s painful, it’s humiliating, it’s fucking hell. But I work on it anyway because I thought that’s what people do when
...more
It has not been easy for me, but I gave you all my soft spots and you gave me the same perfect, phony fucking mask you give everyone else.” “I just didn’t want you to get hurt.” “Then stop hurting me!” Cooper yelled.
If Cooper were an armchair psychologist, he’d guess the early abandonment Park had experienced by his parents paired with Joe’s extremely conditional love had shaped him into someone who’d do anything, be anyone, for love. That sounded romantic. It wasn’t.
He didn’t say “It’s okay” because it wasn’t, or “I know” because he didn’t. He didn’t say “I’m sorry” because it was an empty, ritualistic platitude, or “You don’t need her” because need had nothing do with it. It was about want. And at some point, at least once in a lifetime, no matter who or why or what came before, everyone wants their mom.
One person can’t love you enough to make up for all the people who don’t, but Cooper wasn’t trying for all the people. Just the one. Just for right now.
“Oh, well, maybe you two. But I don’t think she’s stressing too much about me.” Park cocked his head. “That’s not true. She’s actually very impressed with you. You did save her life just yesterday. And today you saved mine.”
Cooper went to him then and wrapped his arms around Park, one arm at his shoulders, the other pulling his head to Cooper’s breastbone. He stroked his hair and felt Park melt against him, nuzzling his skin and soaking up the touch as if he thought he’d never get it again. “I’m sorry I lied to you,” Park whispered, his words a vibration against Cooper’s heart. “About my past. Please just give me another chance. Please don’t—don’t leave me.”
“It’s okay. You’ve got baggage. Some may say I have a small carry-on or two myself.” He steadfastly ignored Park’s snort and continued, “Being open isn’t easy for either of us. Shit, maybe not for anyone. But I work on it because, to me, you’re worth it. And you know what, Oliver? I’m worth it, too. So pull your shit together so we can get on with being mates and in love and all that trash.”
Park rolled them so that he was hovering over Cooper and held his face in his hands. “There’s my porcupine. I didn’t recognize you there for a minute, all sensitive and sweet without your prickers.”
“It’s just—” Park stammered. “I mean, I know you like your space. I don’t ever want to get in the way of that.” Cooper snorted. “It’s not space worth having without you in it.”
“You’ve seen the worst of me. You are the best of me. I won’t ever risk losing that again.”
You will then rendezvous with me in precisely twenty-three minutes so that you can say your goodbyes, which will last no longer than two minutes. Then you and I will get into the car and blow this popsicle stand.” “Damn,” Cooper said. “Is this what living with you is going to be like? You keep a tight schedule. Should we synchronize our watches?” Park ticked his answers off on his fingers. “One, yes, it is. Two, that’s not the only tight thing you have to look forward to. And three, I’m already synced up to you right here.” He patted his heart.
So what if he was facing a major career change? Big whoop. He was about to share a sock drawer! Now that was astonishing. He, Cooper Dayton, an anxious, grumpy, unsociable mess was cohabitating with—late surprise here, folks—someone almost as much a mess as he was. Well, that sounded just fine to him. As it turned out, he was just as hard and prickly as he needed to be to shelter the sweet, vulnerable, deceptively soft man he’d fallen in love with.
“But you must also realize your remarkable AQ has its own appeals.” “Sorry, my what?” The term was vaguely familiar, but he couldn’t remember from where.
“Cooper has never lied to me. I trust him.” “Against your own family? Your blood?” “Against anyone.” Marcus’s face twisted and he snorted, his usually pleasant voice mocking, “So what, you follow him now? Is he your human alpha?” “Yes,” Park said simply. “He is.”
After all, as Park had said, Marcus wasn’t a fighter or anything special at all, really. Just like any power-hungry man, deep down he was a coward.
He’d been confronted firsthand with the utter uselessness of the BSI when it came to wolves as victims. He understood now that werewolves were angry over more than just a rough start and a few missteps. He’d seen how problematic the BSI’s lack of respect for werewolf history really was. In the last twenty-four hours alone he had witnessed things, aspects of their culture, he couldn’t have even imagined before.
Broken systems you could depend on to behave brokenly. He knew the BSI would see a wolf and blame a wolf. He knew that his own family would see a subservient and assume she had to be plotting for power.
“You’d give up a job in the Trust practically tailor-made for you so I could move back in with my grandmother?” Park asked, frowning. “Yes, I would. Your happiness is more important to me than the job. Whatever the job is.” Cooper brought the back of Park’s hand to his mouth for a kiss. “You obviously need a pack and I obviously need you. So if this is our best opportunity to be in a pack together, I don’t want to hold you back.”
“Well, granted, you’re not shining your brightest right now,” Park said wryly. “But normally you have one of the highest Alpha Quotients I’ve ever seen. You’re so fiercely independent you fight anyone who’s ever tried to control you, you go rushing into danger headfirst with no apparent concern for your life and you have zero hesitation in bossing me around. Why is this surprising to you?”
“What do you mean what do we do now? You just keep doing you and I...get to relax. It’s—” he blushed “—ah, unexpectedly soothing to follow your lead.”
