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“I’m always happy to come with you,” he said seriously. Park winked at him. “Idiot. That’s not what I—” He was cut off by Park’s mouth once more, and while the other kisses had been gentle attempts to interrupt Cooper’s complaints, this one was full of only one purpose, to claim.
“If you shifted now, I could put your clothes in the bag for you and you’d spend less time freezing your bits off.” “I’d...rather not,” Park said finally, voice muted. “Okay,” Cooper said quickly, not wanting to push. “I was only thinking of your bits.” Park snorted, getting out of the car. “You usually are.”
After Park’s unhealthy avoidance of shifting had nearly torn him apart last fall, Cooper had spent a lot of time trying to figure out why. How had he gotten to that point? What made him compartmentalize his own identity and throw away the key?
But it wasn’t really something Cooper could google on his own, either. How to talk to your werewolf boyfriend. Your werewolf lover and you. Werewolf Soup for the Soul.
Cooper assumed he’d know if she’d seen “the critter” casually open and close a car door for a sniff and smooch. “And that sound? The yips? What made it vocalize?” David asked. I said I wasn’t single. “I have no idea. It’s, uh, all a bit of a blur, anyway.”
He pulled Cooper back into a hug and began to insistently rub his face all over Cooper’s head. Park’s stubble dragged through his hair and he breathed heavily over Cooper’s neck.
Not Park marking him
“It’s barbaric and unnecessary, and I’m thoroughly ashamed of myself for doing it,” Park said, his chin drawing circles in Cooper’s shoulder now. “But I hate that his scent is all over you.” He whispered that last part and slid his hands up and down Cooper’s arms. “I want you to smell like us again.”
It was the same story when they were interviewing suspects as well. Everyone wanted to play nice for Park. It sometimes made Cooper wonder why Park put up with someone like him, chronically incapable of playing nice.
Because you won't play kiss ass. One version anyway
“How do I look?” he blurted as they approached the car. He couldn’t help it. “Like you’ve seen some shit,” Park said. “Oh, good. I like to stay on brand.
Sniff, obviously. Cooper’s eyes widened.
Do they think he is a wolf??? uhoh
Well, at least they’d know what they were getting. Unlike him.
"Do they know about me?"
“Car trouble.”
Which was not an accident now that the mysterious women agrees with me
shouldn’t it be the next powerful person in the pack?
Let us think on this Coop
Whether Park chose to use the A word or not, he was an alpha in need of a pack.
I fucked up.” “Mmm. What’s that feel like? I’ve never done it.”
Who was he to tell Park what to feel?
“Can I kiss you?” “Yes. Please,” Park breathed, and Cooper leaned in slowly—sending
“That’s Miss Pine Needle if you’re nasty.”
Miss Jackson lmao
“I want to be good for you.” “You are,” Park said fiercely. “So good. I’m not ashamed of you. I could never be,” he added, squeezing his hip. Cooper’s breath caught. “What?” “I wasn’t trying to hide you or anything about you from anyone. I’m so proud of you, so proud I get to be with you, to be part of your life. That you chose me.”
He still wasn’t much of a snuggler, and times like this felt too emotionally raw to be held or occasionally even talked to. But Park didn’t like leaving Cooper entirely alone after rough or intense play, so they’d worked out a sort of compromise where he could stay as long as he engaged as little as possible.
“It wasn’t just talk for me, though,” he added after a moment. “Loving you is the privilege of my already overprivileged life. I never wanted you to feel like I was hiding you from them. I was trying to hide them from you.”
“Raymond!
KNEW IT
“I thought gun,”
Trank
Cooper couldn’t help it. He’d just surged up and kissed him. “That is not how I want you disarming threatening wolves,” Park had said sternly. “Oh, well, guess I need more practice.”
the Shepherd,
Park?
What am I supposed to be doing on this hike? Trying to start a...a...” “Investigation?” Park suggested. “Threesome?” Cooper finished. Park choked. “Okay. We’re obviously not a couple that should be trying to finish each other’s sentences.”
“I love you,” Park said, holding him against his chest. “Really love you. I mean it.” “That’s awkward, ’cause I’ve just been joking this whole time.”
But having Park there, living with him even just temporarily, had reminded Cooper what a great apartment it was. The windows let in more light when Park drank his coffee by them in the morning, people-watching. The shower got hotter when Park crowded up against him and blocked shampoo suds from dripping into his eyes. The kitchen smelled better when Park was baking challah bread, even after Cooper found out the secret ingredient was puréed butternut squash and refused to speak to him for the rest of the day.
Challah incident aside, they’d gotten better at communicating, too. Case in point: after that spontaneous blow job, Cooper had actually told him about his conversations with Sylvia and Geoff, and Park had only cursed at the heavens twice before agreeing Cooper could look out for himself.
He racked his brain to remember if there was anything in those drawers he could use as a weapon. Stupidly, he could only picture jerky.
his successor has yet to claim control.”
Park
And the Shepherd returned.”
has not been easy for me, but I gave you all my soft spots and you gave me the same perfect, phony fucking mask you give everyone else.” “I just didn’t want you to get hurt.” “Then stop hurting me!” Cooper yelled.
“I just wanted to be as good as you thought I was.” “I didn’t need good. I needed a partner who respected me enough to let me decide what and who I want for myself. It’s like you took away my choice.”
Who the hell was he to show up in someone else’s world and tell them how to behave?
If Cooper were an armchair psychologist, he’d guess the early abandonment Park had experienced by his parents paired with Joe’s extremely conditional love had shaped him into someone who’d do anything, be anyone, for love. That sounded romantic. It wasn’t.
All he knew for certain right then was that the idea of standing around Oliver’s wedding to some other man making small talk with old work colleagues saying we loved each other, sure, but it just didn’t work out made him want to set the whole world on fire.
“Agent Bennet here
HIS MOM???
He didn’t say “It’s okay” because it wasn’t, or “I know” because he didn’t. He didn’t say “I’m sorry” because it was an empty, ritualistic platitude, or “You don’t need her” because need had nothing do with it. It was about want. And at some point, at least once in a lifetime, no matter who or why or what came before, everyone wants their mom.
One person can’t love you enough to make up for all the people who don’t, but Cooper wasn’t trying for all the people. Just the one. Just for right now.
face was red and a little swollen, and he avoided Cooper’s gaze. “Ah, fuck,” he said, and ran a hasty hand over his eyes with a heavy sniff. “Sorry.” “Don’t be,” Cooper said immediately, earnestly. It was true they rarely got emotional like this—they each had a lifetime of brainwashing that tears somehow devalued a man to contend with, after all—but while he wished the circumstances were different, he felt stronger and closer to Park than ever before. He didn’t want to see Park ever cry again, but in a weird way, he wanted to be there every time he did.
But there was a force field of tension radiating off of Park, screaming Do Not Touch, so he stayed standing where he was and tried not to sway toward his personal true north too obviously.
“Being open isn’t easy for either of us. Shit, maybe not for anyone. But I work on it because, to me, you’re worth it. And you know what, Oliver? I’m worth it, too. So pull your shit together so we can get on with being mates and in love and all that trash.”
“You’ve seen the worst of me. You are the best of me. I won’t ever risk losing that again.”
trust wasn’t something to rush or abuse.
“The bags are in the car,” Park said. “The brakes have been triple checked. The BSI has been informed to fuck off. I’m going to say my goodbyes to my family. You are going to collect the cat and put her in the car. You will then rendezvous with me in precisely twenty-three minutes so that you can say your goodbyes, which will last no longer than two minutes. Then you and I will get into the car and blow this popsicle stand.” “Damn,” Cooper said. “Is this what living with you is going to be like? You keep a tight schedule. Should we synchronize our watches?”
“Fine. But next time there’s a schedule, I suggest you take this under advisement.” He patted Park’s ass and walked away with a little bounce in his step. “I did not schedule in time for sashaying, either,” Park called after him, and Cooper flipped him off.
“So what, you follow him now? Is he your human alpha?” “Yes,” Park said simply. “He is.” Cooper glanced at him, startled, but Park did not meet his eye. He stared at his family, his ex-pack, one by one. “He is.”
“What do you mean what do we do now? You just keep doing you and I...get to relax. It’s—” he blushed “—ah, unexpectedly soothing to follow your lead.” “Hmm.” Cooper absorbed that for a moment, fascinated by the blush.
