Thrown to the Wolves (Big Bad Wolf, #3)

by Charlie Adhara

He reached up to touch Park’s face, smoothing out the worry lines. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked. “As good as ever.” Park kissed Cooper’s fingertips as they passed over his mouth. “Perfect.” “Well, make up your mind. It can’t be both.” Park nipped at his fingers, catching them between his teeth for a moment. He held Cooper’s gaze, sucked two slightly into his mouth, then released them. “Hmm.” Now it was Cooper’s voice that shook. He rested his fingers against Park’s lower lip and traced the outer seam.

“But the book said no one should hike alone. What if you run into an animal?” “Then there’s a 50/50 chance we’re related.”

The wolf leaned over him and started to sniff. It started at his sternum and moved down. When the delicate brush of its nose passed over the scars carved into his belly, Cooper couldn’t help but whimper. The wolf immediately pulled back and met his eye again. Then slowly it raised its paw and put it over Cooper’s hand, holding it there for a second before pushing gently down until Cooper’s palm was pressed flat against the seat. The pads of its feet were cold but not really wet. Its fur, on the other hand, dripped water down Cooper’s wrist.

The wolf blinked lazily again, one, two, huffed and smiled, panting softly. Everything about it said no threat. Cooper shivered but felt a little better. Or at least he no longer felt like he was immediately going to die. Baby steps. “Sorry,” Cooper breathed. “I guess I overreacted.” The wolf cocked its head. “Are you, uh, related to Park, uh, Oliver, I mean?” The wolf’s mouth snapped closed, and it snorted. “Is that a yes or a no?” Cooper said. The wolf looked bored with this failed Dr. Dolittle routine and started to sniff him again, moving forward slower this time.

It avoided Cooper’s belly completely, starting instead at the hand that was still in the air and seeming particularly interested in the tips of his pointer and middle fingers. The fingers that had been in Park’s mouth earlier...

The wolf sighed heavily, as if extremely annoyed, and then, out of nowhere, licked Cooper’s cheek. One quick swipe on the non-bloody side that was still hard enough to move the flesh of his face. Cooper didn’t budge. Didn’t think. Just stared. The wolf stared back, ear continually swiveling back and forth, monitoring something outside. “Uh, thanks, but I have a boyfriend?” Cooper whispered, unsure.

The wolf blinked, then started rapidly barking light, high-pitched yelps and shaking its head with its eyes closed. Cooper reevaluated. The wolf hadn’t been laughing at him before, but it was laughing at him now. Suddenly it stopped, looked at him and slowly and deliberately winked. Before Cooper could gather his thoughts, it had retreated to the front seat and out of the car.

He wondered if this was what it was like for wolves all the time. Perhaps that explained why all the werewolves he’d ever met spent so little time in wolf form. It was stressful as shit. The reason why Park’s family was all the way out here as isolated and surrounded by wilderness as money could buy them made a lot of sense. No shit, you needed more space as a wolf than as a human. You needed space from humans. But even the wildest parts of the world were shrinking. For the first time Cooper considered how habitat encroachment didn’t just affect the plants and animals.

He pulled Cooper back into a hug and began to insistently rub his face all over Cooper’s head. Park’s stubble dragged through his hair and he breathed heavily over Cooper’s neck. “I don’t care because I know I can’t look any worse right now, but what the hell are you doing?” Cooper muttered. “It’s barbaric and unnecessary, and I’m thoroughly ashamed of myself for doing it,” Park said, his chin drawing circles in Cooper’s shoulder now. “But I hate that his scent is all over you.” He whispered that last part and slid his hands up and down Cooper’s arms. “I want you to smell like us again.”

Park winced. Good. He should. Yes, Park had told his family he was bringing Cooper, and yes, he’d told his family that they were dating, but it was obvious now he’d left something out. Something that hadn’t even crossed Cooper’s mind to ask. Park hadn’t told them Cooper was not a werewolf. And from the look on Mai’s face, this mattered.

He stared up at the house, taking in the dark blue shutters and massive stone urns full of winter greenery, dark holly leaves and bright red berries. A heavy brass knocker on the door showed the design from the gate again. In his periphery, Cooper saw Park stand beside him, watching his expression closely. “What do you think?” “It’s pretty,” Cooper said. Park shuffled in place like he was hoping for more. “Really—” overwhelming, over-the-top, ostentatious “—nice,” he added lamely.

Cooper leaned in slowly—sending Boogie scurrying off in annoyance—and their lips met. A simple, affectionate touch that offered the reassurance and connection he couldn’t seem to give with words. He liked the way Park sometimes held his breath when Cooper kissed him like this. Like unexpected affection was so precious he didn’t want to risk any interruption. The way Park kept himself straight and stiff, clearly wanting to look his best for someone he must surely know already thought he couldn’t get more beautiful. Maybe he didn’t know. Maybe that was the problem.

“Caught you,” Park whispered in his ear, then rubbed his nose against the side of Cooper’s head. A droplet of melted snow from Park’s hair fell onto the back of Cooper’s neck and slipped beneath his collar, making him shiver.

“Maybe I should keep you down here,” Park said thoughtfully, methodically dipping into him to stretch him. “We like to stock the barn with supplies for after a run. I wouldn’t mind an ass like yours waiting for me in here when I get back. I’d keep you naked all the time, of course. Maybe give you a toy so you’d always be ready for me.” Cooper groaned. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Please,” Cooper groaned, not even sure what he was asking for at this point. To come now? To never stop? “Anything,” Park promised. “You can have anything you want.” “I want to be good for you.” “You are,” Park said fiercely. “So good. I’m not ashamed of you. I could never be,” he added, squeezing his hip. Cooper’s breath caught. “What?” “I wasn’t trying to hide you or anything about you from anyone. I’m so proud of you, so proud I get to be with you, to be part of your life. That you chose me.”

“Clean me?” Park asked, and Cooper greedily lapped at his fingers. Park’s thrusts quickened and Cooper allowed himself a small moan. Park’s lips moved against the back of his neck. “If it was up to me, I’d keep you marked up and full of my come all the time so everyone knows you’re mine. Can I do that?” He grazed his teeth against Cooper’s skin. “Yes, do it. Anything. Mark me. Give it to me. Fill me up so everyone knows who I belong to.”

Cooper gasped, then jerked when he felt Park suck a bruise into the thick muscle connecting his neck to his shoulder. He hammered into him hard and fast now, the sound of their bodies slapping together echoing in the small space. Maybe it was being closed off in the stall and the smell of sex, or maybe it was Cooper’s exhausted brain, but there was something very base about the whole thing, like he was barely more than a rutting animal being mounted and bred. It was not an unappealing thought, and he clenched down involuntarily on Park’s cock.

“Loving you is the privilege of my already overprivileged life. I never wanted you to feel like I was hiding you from them. I was trying to hide them from you.”

“You’re wrong,” he said, knowing Helena could still hear him. She didn’t turn around. He walked after her and shouted this time. “You’re wrong!” His voice bounced between the hills surrounding them, and three birds startled out of a tree, taking flight a hundred feet farther up the cliff to land in a different tree. Cooper stared after them. Wasn’t she? The memory of Park’s face, that desperate sadness. But Park loved him. He knew that. Didn’t that mean they were right for each other? Wasn’t love enough?

“I always trust you,” Cooper said immediately, and Park smiled, but it was strained, unhappy. “Well, not always,” Park joked awkwardly, referring to when they first met. Cooper shrugged in a so-so gesture. Because what Park didn’t know, had never known, was even then, despite what Cooper had been told, what his own consciousness warned, he’d been drawn to Park almost from the start. He’d had to fight his natural wanting to trust Park—with his back as a partner, with his body as a lover. He’d lost that fight faster than with anyone else he’d ever trusted before.

Eli darted forward and inhaled the air by Cooper’s neck, his grip on Cooper’s hand suddenly as unbreakable as iron. “Mmm, faded already. Did I really leave such a fleeting impression?” He pressed a quick, dry kiss to Cooper’s cheek. Across the room, Park growled and Cooper jerked away. This time Eli released him without resistance.

“You’re the wolf.” “The wolf.” Eli put a hand to his heart. “That’s quite a moniker. Especially around here. Especially today.” “The wolf in the car. You licked me.” “Sorry about that. You smelled like...someone I used to know, and I got a little overexcited.” Eli blinked at him, faux innocently. “Just be thankful I didn’t pee on you.”

He circled Cooper with an appreciative look. “You’re even cuter than Ollie said you were.” “Well, he hasn’t told me anything about you,” Cooper said, voice tight. He tried not to fidget or cover himself at the blatant appraisal. “Oh, I’m the boy next door.” Eli stopped in front of him and winked. “The one who got away. The old beau. The doused flame. The ex.” Cooper’s eyebrows shot up and he lo...

“Is this why you want to go traipsing around the forest at the crack of dawn? You want to quiz Eli? Watch us interact?” Cooper shook his head. “Why would I want that? What am I supposed to be doing on this hike? Trying to start a...a...” “Investigation?” Park suggested. “Threesome?” Cooper finished. Park choked. “Okay. We’re obviously not a couple that should be trying to finish each other’s sentences.”

Park yanked on the back of his sweaty shirt. “Porcupine. Why do I have such a soft spot for bastards?” He scooted down to press a kiss to Cooper’s forehead, and froze. Then shifted a little to the right and sniffed at his eye intently. “Who the—?” He pushed Cooper away, holding him at arm’s length. “Can’t I leave you alone for ten minutes without someone fucking licking you?” “Nah.” Cooper grinned and stretched, his muscles loose and warm and all of the evening’s previous fears faded with endorphins. “Or didn’t you notice? I’m very lickable.”

She sucked her teeth, mock-pityingly. “What disappointing progeny for poor old Joe. Still, he had his second chance with the grandkids. Didn’t he get so, so lucky that he got to raise them all himself. A little do-over.” Agent Bennet leaned forward, and Cooper could see his own tense face in her sunglasses’ reflection. “Go ahead, guess. Which of his brand-new children do you think Joe groomed to be his perfect little soldier?” He wanted to shove her away. Wanted to yell at her to get out of his face. But he couldn’t move.

Threat removed, the notes said. It was ridiculously easy to recognize Park’s handwriting. When they were living together, he would leave Cooper little notes around the apartment to cheer him up. Movie tonight? Proud of you for putting on pants. Can I help you take them off? Stay out of kitchen! It’s a surprise. P.S. Can smell your lies so don’t even try it. He had a funny way of writing his t’s like backward j’s. Overly fancy like a typewriter, his private school showing through.

“Cooper?” Park murmured. He didn’t answer. Didn’t open his eyes. Coward. But he just...couldn’t. He didn’t want to lie to Park and he couldn’t imagine pretending nothing had happened. But he didn’t want to have that conversation tonight. He needed time to think. Really think, and not whatever this useless trembling his brain was doing.

Park wrapped a gentle arm around his waist, obviously trying not to wake him, and his hand rested against his lower belly, fingers lining up with the scars there. He pressed a soft kiss against the back of his neck, and Cooper almost broke. Talk to him. He would. In the morning. For now he kept his eyes closed and leaned back into Park’s warmth. He needed this comfort, just for tonight.

Cooper walked with Eli while Park trailed behind them. It was oddly reminiscent of their first case together, hiking into the White Mountain National Forest to a crime scene, low light filtering between the pines and confusing the eyes. Cooper had been ridiculously uncomfortable then, thinking Park was keeping secrets. Thinking he was manipulative. Maybe even dangerous. Looked like they’d come full circle in a way. Only this time, with every step Cooper’s heart felt like it was breaking.

If Cooper were an armchair psychologist, he’d guess the early abandonment Park had experienced by his parents paired with Joe’s extremely conditional love had shaped him into someone who’d do anything, be anyone, for love. That sounded romantic. It wasn’t.

And though it was never Cooper’s intention to fuel that, he hadn’t exactly helped, either. He’d been all too willing to accept Park as perfect. It had felt nice to believe someone so close to faultless had looked at Cooper’s fault-ridden life and thought, Oh yeah, I want in on that. It was validating and had given him the breath and the boost he’d needed to process the last couple of years and heal. But it hadn’t left Park a lot of space to unpack his own shit. There’s not enough room in this relationship for the both of us.

He didn’t say “It’s okay” because it wasn’t, or “I know” because he didn’t. He didn’t say “I’m sorry” because it was an empty, ritualistic platitude, or “You don’t need her” because need had nothing do with it. It was about want. And at some point, at least once in a lifetime, no matter who or why or what came before, everyone wants their mom.

Cooper just squeezed Park tighter and pressed kiss after kiss to his temple, the top of his head, his shoulder. Willed him to feel how much Cooper loved him. One person can’t love you enough to make up for all the people who don’t, but Cooper wasn’t trying for all the people. Just the one. Just for right now.

Park’s breathing stopped. “Of course I trust you,” he said. “Not always. Not with every part of you.” Park started to protest again and Cooper shhed him. “It’s okay. You’ve got baggage. Some may say I have a small carry-on or two myself.” He steadfastly ignored Park’s snort and continued, “Being open isn’t easy for either of us. Shit, maybe not for anyone. But I work on it because, to me, you’re worth it. And you know what, Oliver? I’m worth it, too. So pull your shit together so we can get on with being mates and in love and all that trash.”

Cooper’s hand touched the space over Park’s heart, feeling its joyful pulse. Then he touched lower, imagining where Park’s heart might fall in his fur. “Don’t lie to me again. Then I’d seriously have to leave your ass and I don’t think I can survive that.” Right then, in that moment, he didn’t want to survive it. Park covered Cooper’s hand with his own and pulled back so he could look him in the eye. “You’ve seen the worst of me. You are the best of me. I won’t ever risk losing that again.”

“Well, granted, you’re not shining your brightest right now,” Park said wryly. “But normally you have one of the highest Alpha Quotients I’ve ever seen. You’re so fiercely independent you fight anyone who’s ever tried to control you, you go rushing into danger headfirst with no apparent concern for your life and you have zero hesitation in bossing me around. Why is this surprising to you?” “Wow. Save some of that sweet talk for the Valentine’s card. So, okay. Um, what does this mean, though? Like, what do we do now?” “Well, we’ll have to take you to the DMV to register you as my alpha, and there’s a written and a practical exam,” Park said sarcastically. “What do you mean what do we do now? You just keep doing you and I...get to relax. It’s—” he blushed “—ah, unexpectedly soothing to follow your lead.”

“With you I’m finally home.” Park said it as if it was that simple. Maybe for once it could be. Hadn’t they had enough complicated in their lives? Cooper leaned forward and pressed a gentle, lingering kiss to his lips. When he pulled back and opened his eyes, Park’s face was entirely open and glowing with tender, almost shy happiness and love. Cooper couldn’t help but smile back. Yes, he could get very used to something simple. With Oliver at his side, in his pack, what could possibly go wrong?