Surrounded by Idiots: The Four Types of Human Behavior and How to Effectively Communicate with Each in Business (and in Life)

by Thomas Erikson

Why was speaking to some people so easy, while others were total blockheads?

DISC—an acronym that stands for Dominance, Inspiration, Stability, and Compliance ability—system.

Everything you say to a person is filtered through his frames of reference, biases, and preconceived ideas.

By adjusting yourself to how other people want to be treated, you become more effective in your communication.

You help other people understand you by creating a secure arena for communication—on their terms.

Flexibility and the ability to interpret other people’s needs is what characterizes a good communicator.

“We see what we do, but we do not see why we do what we do. Thus, we assess and appraise each other through what we see that we do.”

In any other situation, it might be a good idea to understand how you are perceived and to learn how other people function.

BEHAVIOR = f (P × Sf) Behavior is a function of Personality and Surrounding factors. Behavior is that which we can observe. Personality is what we try to figure out. Surrounding factors are things that we have an influence on. Conclusion: We continually affect one another in some form or other. The trick is to try to figure out what’s there, under the surface. And this book is all about behavior.

They even enjoy winning competitions that probably don’t even exist, except perhaps in their own mind. It can be passing a slow walker on the street, finding the absolutely best parking spot, or dominating the family game of Monopoly—

But a Red detests inactivity. Things must happen. Add to this a sense of constant urgency, and a great deal will get done.

Maja never forgot anyone’s birthday or anniversary (or their wives’ or children’s, for that matter).

Blues rarely take any major risks. Never taking any risks ensures a predictable life; we can probably agree on that. I’m not saying anything about how exciting and inspiring it would be; I’m just stating the facts.

my advice is to listen attentively when Blues do actually talk, because they’ve usually thought through what they say.

A wise person once said that “just because you’re right, I don’t have to be wrong.”

Reds have no problem taking one or two shortcuts, as long as it’s about getting things done.

basically means that we accept that conflicts exist—that it’s natural.

Remember, we’re talking here about behavior as perceived by others.

Life consists of so much more than learning from your mistakes. Some mistakes you can avoid altogether.

Some basics to keep in mind about Reds. They: • keep their distance from others • have powerful handshakes • lean forward aggressively • use direct eye contact • use controlling gestures.

Some simple basics to keep in mind about Yellows. They: • are tactile • are relaxed and jocular • show friendly eye contact • use expressive gestures • often come close.

Some simple basics to keep in mind about Greens. They: • are relaxed and come close • act methodically • tend to lean backwards • use very friendly eye contact • prefer small-scale gestures.

Some simple basics to keep in mind about Blues. They: • prefer to keep others at a distance • either stand or sit • often have closed body language • use direct eye contact • speak without gestures.

You already adapt your behavior, even if you don’t realize it. We all adapt to one another all the time.

What a Red Expects of You “DO WHAT I ASKED OF YOU, AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE—PREFERABLY, EVEN FASTER THAN THAT”

What a Yellow Expects of You “ISN’T IT NICE BEING HERE ALL TOGETHER?” In essence, Yellows are not afraid of conflict. If something goes wrong, they can really blow a gasket, but if possible, they prefer a pleasant and cozy atmosphere. Yellows are at their best when everyone is being friendly and the sun is shining.

What a Green Expects of You EVERYTHING SHOULD FEEL GOOD ALL THE TIME

Green simply needs to know what the plan is. What needs to happen? When will things be taking place? What should he expect?

In our society today, the only thing that’s permanent is change.

IT’S BEST TO THINK EVERYTHING ALL THE WAY THROUGH FROM THE BEGINNING

Point out that constant criticism rarely accomplishes anything.

Calmly and methodically tell the Blue that next week he’ll need to work at a faster pace. Explain exactly why this is so important.

The first step is to try to tune into the frequency of others and then adapt to them. In this way, you gain their trust and they are able to recognize themselves in you.

How to Give Feedback to a Red—If You Dare Good news: You don’t need any great skill to give negative feedback to a Red. The only thing you need is a Kevlar vest and fire-resistant hair. Because no matter how you do it, the temperature in the room will rise.

How to Give Feedback to a Yellow—If You Have the Patience

In a perfect world, we would have an equal number of each color.

The Yellow comes up with a new idea, the Red makes the decision, the Green has to do all the work, and the Blue evaluates and makes sure that the results are excellent.

It is all about Hippocrates’ four temperaments, describing the same differences that this book is all about.

But by letting their anger get the best of them all the time, Reds miss out on a lot of feedback.

Once you’ve understood what the most important stress factors in your life are, you’ll be better equipped to avoid them when possible.

Emotions of Normal People,

Look up

Dominance produces activity in an antagonistic environment. • Influence produces activity in a favorable environment. • Stability produces passivity in a favorable environment. • Compliance produces passivity in an antagonistic environment.