Surrounded by Idiots: The Four Types of Human Behavior and How to Effectively Communicate with Each in Business (and in Life)

by Thomas Erikson

If you don’t understand and use the principles, you’ll continue to be surrounded by idiots. And nobody wants that.

Sture didn’t grasp that he always compared people to himself. His definition of idiocy was simply anyone who didn’t think or act like him.

This book is about what is perhaps the world’s most widely used method to describe the differences in human communication. This method is called the DISC—an acronym that stands for Dominance, Inspiration, Stability, and Compliance ability—system.

Everything you say to a person is filtered through his frames of reference, biases, and preconceived ideas.

Flexibility and the ability to interpret other people’s needs is what characterizes a good communicator.

Treat others as you want to be treated. Excellent advice and very well intentioned. And it works, too—as long as everyone is just like you.

Maybe you’d like to be more decisive like Reds, or maybe you wish it were easier for you to interact with strangers, like Yellows. Possibly, you wish that you didn’t stress so much, that you could just take it easy like

could keep your schedule in better order, something that’s natural for Blues. Naturally, it works the other way as well. You are going to read things that will help you realize that you too boss others around a bit too much, just like Reds tend to do. Or that you talk way too much, something that Yellows do. It might be that you take things way too easy, not getting involved in anything, the Greens’ weakness. Or you’re always suspicious of everything, seeing risks everywhere, just like Blues. Here you can learn to see your own pitfalls and how you can take appropriate measures to get around them.

What should we do? We’ll do it my way. Now!

“Tell Me What You Really Think—Yes, for Real.”

Can I Win Something? In That Case, I’m In.

Conclusion: If you want to adapt to a Red’s tempo—hurry up! Speed up! Speak and act more quickly. Look at the clock often, because that’s what a Red does. If you can conclude a meeting in half the time—do it! If you have a Red with you in the car, he won’t be upset if you’re a little bit over the speed limit. (If you drive too slowly, he might insist on taking the steering wheel.)

Conclusion: If you want to have a Red’s full attention, cut the small talk. It’s vital that you’re clear and straightforward. Determine the most essential point of your message and start there. Let’s say that you’re going to present the latest financial statement. Say what’s written on the last line of the slide first—that’s what a Red is sitting there waiting for anyway. Then you can get into the details.

Conclusion: Stick to the topic! The easiest way is to prepare your case very precisely before going into a meeting with a Red. If, in the middle of an interesting discussion, another thought pops into your head, write it down and ask at the end of the meeting if it’s okay to raise the issue. Otherwise, schedule a new meeting.

Conclusion: Paradoxically, Reds are the easiest to sell to. If you want to do good business, the only thing you need to do is step into a Red’s office, present your suggestions, and then ask about a deal. Skip the football game yesterday. Never

Conclusion: Deliver your opinion without blinking. In the end, you might have to concede, but never sell yourself short. A Red can rattle and rumble, stamp on the floor, raise his voice, and shake his fist. Many people back off in the face of this behavior. It’s not pleasant to be shouted at, is it?

Conclusion: If you really want to help Reds do better work, try to demonstrate the benefits of keeping an eye on the details. Explain that the results will be better and profits larger if they just consider a couple of small but crucial elements of the project.

Conclusion: Give examples of instances where time was lost by being too hasty. Point out the risks involved in hurrying too much. Explain that others can’t keep up, and point out that it would be great if everyone knew what the project was about. Don’t give in. Assert that not even he can manage everything himself. Force a Red to wait for others.

Conclusion: Reds calculate risks by constantly looking at the facts. Facts are something they understand. Since Reds prefer not to look backwards—old and tiring—and focus on the present and the future, a plain and honest exchange of experiences may be called for.

Conclusion: You should confront his behavior immediately. Don’t allow any exceptions; just say loudly and clearly that

you won’t tolerate coarse remarks, nastiness, and uncalled-for tantrums. Demand adult behavior, and if he loses his temper just leave the room. It’s important that you never let him get his way just by barking his head off.

Conclusion: A Yellow functions best when he is happy and content. His creativity is at its zenith and all his positive energy flows. You should strive to create a warm and friendly atmosphere around him.

Conclusion: If you want to keep a Yellow’s attention, strip away as much of the minutia as you possibly can. Always start with the big questions.

Conclusion: Just accept that a Yellow feels his way. He has a high tolerance for uncertainty and isn’t overly afraid of risks. Adapt to it. You can get through to him by showing him that you too follow your gut. No matter how wrong this might feel to you, this is the way to a Yellow’s heart.

Conclusion: Allow a Yellow to devote himself to the latest thing. He’ll love it.

Conclusion: Become approachable. Demonstrate that you’re available; smile a lot; be sure to have open body language.

Conclusion: Coordinate all appointments properly with Yellows. Synchronize your watches. Explain very clearly that the plane takes off at 8:00 P.M. and that if he doesn’t show up by then he’ll be left standing at the gate. Say it like it is: If he’s not in his car outside your door two hours before the plane takes off, you’ll drop down dead of a heart attack. Tell the Yellow that you will be deeply irritated with him and that your friendship could be damaged due to his continual slipups. If the dinner is due to start at 7:00 P.M., invite everyone for that time, but make it 6:30 for your Yellow friends. They’ll arrive last anyway. They’ll come with very well-worded excuses. Be prepared for very colorful stories. But also know that Yellows will emphatically deny that they are optimists regarding time. They’ll insist that they most certainly

Conclusion: Yellows need to understand that there are other people in the room or working on the project besides themselves. You can never allow Yellows to consume all the oxygen. They need to hear—from someone with courage and perseverance—that they have to let others enter the conversation or whatever it may be. It’s impossible to explain this in the midst of a conversation with others present. It won’t fall on fertile ground. A Yellow can be very offended by such criticism. He’ll think things like, “Everyone

Conclusion: To help your Yellow friend you need to make sure that he puts his shovel in the ground and starts digging. Push him, but push gently. Treat him a little bit like you would treat a child. Be kind but clear. If he notices that you’re becoming his taskmaster, things may become difficult. Yellows hate feeling controlled. They need the most help to get into gear, but that doesn’t mean they like it. They are free souls and don’t obey anyone else.

Conclusion: If you wish to get through to a Yellow with negative feedback, you need to be persistent. Create a friendly atmosphere in the room and find the right tone so that your criticism lands where it should. You can always slam your fist on the table as hard as you can to really shake him up, lay down the cold, hard truth, and give it to him straight. I don’t recommend

Conclusion: Accept that this person doesn’t think like you do. Accept that he is driven just as much by fear as by anything else—perhaps even more. Show that you’re prepared to listen to what he is anxious about. Don’t say things like “There’s nothing to be afraid of.” It doesn’t work because the fear itself is real. And it’s also not true. There are many legitimate things to be afraid of. We all have things we’re anxious about; a Green just has more of them.

Conclusion: It’s important to respect this on one level. We need to put ourselves in other people’s shoes, knowing how stressful it can be for them to be constantly on the go. In today’s society, it’s not possible to avoid all the bustle and activity. It means that a genuine Green often feels that he is doing something wrong. He hears about everyone

When Reds ask what, Yellows wonder who. When Blues ask why, Greens want to know how.

A Green simply needs to know what the plan is. What needs to happen? When will things be taking place? What should he expect?

Conclusion: If you have a comment to make about a Green’s behavior, make sure you’re careful about how you present it. For example, if it involves criticism, you should deliver it in private. Make sure that the person you are talking to understands that you still like him, but that you believe that he and

Conclusion: If you want Greens to accept change, you’ll have to equip yourself with a good dollop of patience. Break down the process into small pieces and set aside a few weeks to persuade, win over, and spell out the particulars. You must describe the process in detail, and since no one is going to take any notes, you’ll have to go through it again, and again, and again until the message gets home.

Conclusion: If you want to make headway with a large group of Greens, you have to take command, get a firm hold on the steering wheel, and, in some cases, simply get into the driver’s seat

Conclusion: Stick to the task. Work with checklists where factual matters are noted—things you can tick off together with the Blue. If you’re Yellow, put a part of your spontaneity aside. For that matter, put away as much spontaneity as you can. Force yourself to do one thing at a time. Remind yourself that a Blue will rarely or never ask how things are going or show interest in your personal problems. Don’t ask how things are going for him on a personal level, either. The word itself would be his answer: “Personal. This is private. Stay off.” In time he will open up if he wants to. It’s not that he doesn’t like you;

Conclusion: Think through what you want to say and what you want to convince a Blue to believe. Put daydreams and visions aside. It may even be worth rethinking the kind of language you will use to talk about your plan. Skip all those inspirational speeches that

Conclusion: Prepare yourself well. When you think you’re prepared and that you know all there is to know about an issue, go through it all one more time. Make sure you have answers to absolutely everything. Accept that this person might want to have more data

Conclusion: Be particularly meticulous in your work when trying to impress a Blue; otherwise, he will view you as sloppy and careless. You should be on your guard about expressing yourself using negative terms concerning how the Blue spends too much time just on quality. Use words like “careful control,” “properly inspected,” “the importance of quality.” Avoid criticizing Blues for taking too much time or fussing

Conclusion: Remind him that other people have feelings. Give examples of times when he bruised other people’s feelings—like when he pointed out all the flaws in the neighbor’s new house. Explain that he doesn’t need to express himself critically all the time. Show him that people can take great offense when

Conclusion: Calmly and methodically tell the Blue that next week he’ll need to work at a faster pace. Explain exactly why this is so important. Establish that you have only forty-eight hours left to complete the project. This time is precious and must be used correctly. Point to the big picture. Give him valid reasons he should go against his instincts.

Conclusion: Tell your Blue friend that if he has to make a decision without all the facts, he can follow his gut. This can apply to work or ordering at a new restaurant. Speak clearly and loudly to the Blue, and explain that if he doesn’t make a decision he’ll end up going hungry. Prove that it’s better to do something rather than remaining paralyzed, waiting for more information.

Conclusion: Pay attention to when the decision process stalls out. Suppose, for example, two equally strong candidates have applied for an opening at your company. So far, everything has gone well. The Blue decision maker has

So the basic rule is to meet a Red with Red behavior, Yellow with Yellow, Green with Green, and finally Blue with Blue.

it’s all about working together, about meeting one another in the middle.

Conclusion: Prepare yourself extremely well and try not to give negative feedback to a Red if you are not feeling strong that day. You need to be full of self-confidence, so choose your opportunity carefully. A Red is always strong, always full of self-confidence, so for him it doesn’t matter. He will ride into battle at a moment’s notice, if necessary. And, prepare yourself for the possibility that he might try to turn the tables. He’ll accuse you of everything under the sun so that he can feel he has the upper

Conclusion: Despite their flexibility and creativity, Yellows are actually the most difficult to change. They don’t listen and only implement changes that they themselves have thought of. What you need to do is massage their egos as much as you can bear and put words into their mouths.

Conclusion: If you’re human, which I think you are, you may have a guilty conscience and think that you went at the Green guy way too hard. I remember one occasion when I argued with an employee because, in my opinion, she didn’t do what she was supposed to. Her reaction was to completely fall apart, and she didn’t come to work for two days. When we spoke about it afterwards, it turned out that I hadn’t actually asked her to do those specific tasks. I’d just assumed that she looked at things the way I did.