Surrounded by Idiots: The Four Types of Human Behavior and How to Effectively Communicate with Each in Business (and in Life)

by Thomas Erikson

Basically, they believe that they listen very well, but somewhere along the way to the brain’s storage shelves whatever they heard simply gets lost—poof! No, it’s not about memory. It’s about how a Yellow is often uninterested in what others say because he knows he could say it so much better himself. He doesn’t stay focused; he begins thinking about other things, begins doing other things. He does not want to listen—he wants to talk.

They’re also quite childish in that they only like doing things that are enjoyable. If a statement or story or just a normal conversation is boring, then they close their ears.

Rhetoric isn’t the art of talking but rather the art of getting others to listen.

This is another thing Greens often do—turn frustration inwards and feel awful so that everyone notices it.

“I’ve Never Been So Upset, but for God’s Sake, Don’t Say Anything to Anyone.” This is the second major dilemma with Green behavior. They despise a squabble. This aversion to conflict also causes many other challenges, such as stubbornness, ambiguity, and resistance to change.

Even perfectionist Blue individuals receive criticism. It can be about how they are perceived as evasive, defensive, perfectionist, reserved, fastidious, meticulous, hesitant, conservative, lacking independence, questioning, suspicious, tedious, aloof, and coldhearted.

Red Body Language Some basics to keep in mind about Reds. They: • keep their distance from others • have powerful handshakes • lean forward aggressively • use direct eye contact • use controlling gestures.

When it comes to the language of power, Reds have their finger on the trigger right from the start. Be prepared for that.

You can also clearly see that Reds—of course they are not alone in this—are more than willing to interrupt you. They draw their breath continuously, hoping to find gaps in the conversation. If they have to wait too long to speak, they’ll throw themselves into the conversation with a loud voice and simply take over.

Yellow Body Language Some simple basics to keep in mind about Yellows. They: • are tactile • are relaxed and jocular • show friendly eye contact • use expressive gestures • often come close.

Green Body Language Some simple basics to keep in mind about Greens. They: • are relaxed and come close • act methodically • tend to lean backwards • use very friendly eye contact • prefer small-scale gestures.

Blue Body Language Some simple basics to keep in mind about Blues. They: • prefer to keep others at a distance • either stand or sit • often have closed body language • use direct eye contact • speak without gestures.

Join in the game, or go your own way? The decision will always be yours.

What a Red Expects of You “DO WHAT I ASKED OF YOU, AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE—PREFERABLY, EVEN FASTER THAN THAT” If you ask a Red, he’ll agree that most people are too slow. They speak too slowly, they have trouble coming to the point, and they work ineffectively. In a Red’s world, everything simply takes way too long.

there’s anything Reds dislike, it’s endless discussion. It makes them flip out.

If someone with lots of Red in his behavior asks what time it is, answer the question with the exact time.

If you have an opinion, out with it. Reds judge you on how driven you are. You should listen to them, of course, but you must have an opinion of your own. Otherwise, you’re weak, and that’s not a quality that will win you any points.

For them the destination will always be more important than the journey, so Reds will do just about anything to achieve the desired results. Reds won’t naturally stop to consider the small things or analyze their method.

But if you’re good at arguing, your advice will be followed.

A Red needs someone who can get him to pause and realize that not everyone has grasped the situation as quickly as he has. He’ll never be able to carry out all the phases of a project on his own—even if he believes he can and probably will attempt to. He still needs to have his team with him.

The one thing a Red detests more than anything else is being told that he must lower his voice.

A Yellow, however, can be very sensitive to whether people are in good spirits or not. If the people in a group are in bad spirits and aggression is pouring down like from a cloudburst, he won’t be happy at all.

His creativity is at its zenith and all his positive energy flows. You should strive to create a warm and friendly atmosphere around him.

Conclusion: If you want to keep a Yellow’s attention, strip away as much of the minutia as you possibly can. Always start with the big questions.

It’s just like with Reds, if not worse. Yellows don’t care about how things work, only that they work. So put away the instruction manual—they’ll never open it.

It must feel right. A Yellow can readily ignore the actual facts so long as it feels right. Don’t misunderstand this: A Yellow understands perfectly well that some people look at facts and that this is important. He’s not stupid. It’s just that he’s not interested. He wants to feel his way. Do you want to get a Yellow to make a decision? Try to put the Excel spreadsheets aside, lean forward, and say with a broad smile, “How does this feel?” He will understand exactly. And you’ll get an answer.

Conclusion: Allow a Yellow to devote himself to the latest thing. He’ll love it.

Conclusion: Become approachable. Demonstrate that you’re available; smile a lot; be sure to have open body language. When a Yellow wonders where you grew up, don’t just respond with “New York.” Say that you lived in Chelsea, and that you loved jogging along the High Line, and that a pickpocket stole your wallet once while you were walking down Fifth Avenue, and that you met the love of your life when she accidentally dropped a plate of fries on your pants at a restaurant.

But—big but—be prepared to follow up if it’s important, because the Yellow didn’t write down any of it. Unless you managed to persuade him to write it on his calendar, of course.

Conclusion: Coordinate all appointments properly with Yellows. Synchronize your watches. Explain very clearly that the plane takes off at 8:00 P.M. and that if he doesn’t show up by then he’ll be left standing at the gate. Say it like it is: If he’s not in his car outside your door two hours before the plane takes off, you’ll drop down dead of a heart attack. Tell the Yellow that you will be deeply irritated with him and that your friendship could be damaged due to his continual slipups.

This can be because they don’t know what they want until they get there or because they’re sure they’ll be able to recall the nineteen things they need to buy.

Their thoughts often begin with the word “I.” “I want,” “I think,” “I can,” “I know,” “I will.” It’s quite natural. They like other people, but there is one thing they like even more: themselves.

I might as well get straight to the point here to avoid confusion: Yellows talk more than they work.

Because a Yellow’s perspective on time is based in the future, they spend more time talking about the future than dedicating their energy to getting there. Seldom have so many crazy plans been drawn up or so many insane goals set as is done by Yellows.

Conclusion: To help your Yellow friend you need to make sure that he puts his shovel in the ground and starts digging. Push him, but push gently. Treat him a little bit like you would treat a child. Be kind but clear. If he notices that you’re becoming his taskmaster, things may become difficult. Yellows hate feeling controlled. They need the most help to get into gear, but that doesn’t mean they like it. They are free souls and don’t obey anyone else.

Conclusion: Accept that this person doesn’t think like you do. Accept that he is driven just as much by fear as by anything else—perhaps even more. Show that you’re prepared to listen to what he is anxious about. Don’t say things like “There’s nothing to be afraid of.” It doesn’t work because the fear itself is real. And it’s also not true. There are many legitimate things to be afraid of. We all have things we’re anxious about; a Green just has more of them.

If you have an idea that hasn’t been tested before, try to set reasonable goals. Don’t say that you will dominate the market within three months or that the Little League team will win the championship despite having lost all of their matches so far. They’ll only consider you a lunatic.

Conclusion: Prepare yourself well. When you think you’re prepared and that you know all there is to know about an issue, go through it all one more time. Make sure you have answers to absolutely everything. Accept that this person might want to have more data to feel secure.

It’s worth remembering that their short memories also apply to hard feelings. Although they feel awful when criticized, they soon forget. They simply repress everything that is difficult or unpleasant.

However, it’s important to know that a Red doesn’t consider himself an angry person. He’s just given someone a piece of his mind or maybe raised his voice at him. Again, it’s just a way of communicating. But to a Green, it might seem that a Red is angry even when he’s just sharing his opinion. So much is in the eye of the beholder.

Dominance produces activity in an antagonistic environment. • Influence produces activity in a favorable environment. • Stability produces passivity in a favorable environment. • Compliance produces passivity in an antagonistic environment. The four letters D, I, S, and C (Dominance, Influence, Stability, and Compliance) form the acronym of the DISC profile that is used throughout the world.

Helena CEO of a Private Company with Approximately Fifty Employees. Mostly Red, Without Any Green or Blue. A Small Dab of Yellow. What do you think of this tool? DISC language? I think it seems to be an effective way to avoid misunderstandings. I understood immediately what it was all about, so I think the book could have been shorter—half as long, maybe. I would have concentrated the text more. I don’t like repetition. But sure, it’s a useful tool. Last Christmas I gave a copy to all my coworkers as a gift and asked that they read it. And almost everybody did.

What parts of Yellow behavior did you think were most accurate? That we Yellows are very creative and resourceful. People are always telling me that. Also, I’m adept at solving complex problems, because I can see solutions in a different way than everyone else. What do you mean by different? Einstein once said that you can’t solve a problem with the same mind-set as when you created it. Or something like that. I think that’s exactly right. That’s why I always approach any problem with new, fresh eyes. My customers always appreciate my creative thinking. And I’m really good at winning people over. I’ve always found it easy to charm people; it is a kind of natural talent actually. I know lots of people; I always have. And I’m great at public speaking. In school, I was president of the student council and often spoke to the entire school.

thing you learned after reading the book? That Blues are boring. Though I already knew that beforehand. I just didn’t know that they were Blue.