entirely: I might have tended to allow other people to choose me, but once I was in a relationship, I was usually the one in control. My conversations with Neel, on the other hand, felt more equal, or even as if I were going to have to prove myself, if I wanted to hold his attention. I wanted to prolong the potential of a real relationship as long as possible, not take any step that would propel Neel and me in one direction or the other. I couldn’t imagine anything better than imagining myself with Neel.
