Here To Stay

by Mark Edwards

It was time I stood up for myself. ‘I want to talk to all of you,’ I said, keeping my voice firm. ‘In the kitchen. Now.’

Except back then, there was nobody to stand up to Jeff and Lizzy. That was my role now. To stand up for Gemma and Chloe and myself.

‘You’ve replaced our bed?’ Gemma sounded stunned.

‘I can’t . . . I can’t even . . . How could you afford a new bed anyway? Gemma told me you haven’t got any money. That you had to borrow some off her.’ I looked over at my wife. She was examining the surface of the table and I experienced another stab of irritation. It would help if she’d back me up right now, even if it was hard for her. ‘I want you to ring the delivery company and get them to take that monstrosity away.’

monstrosity is crazyyy lmaooooo

‘Nope. Sorry, we’re not going to do that,’ Jeff said.

AHHHHHHHHH LMAOOO

‘Then how are you going to pay for a deposit on a house?’ The room was silent. All I could hear was the drip-drip of the tap, which appeared to have sprung a leak while we were in Sussex. Lizzy seemed to be having a problem controlling her lips; they wobbled like she was trying to suppress a smile.

yoooo they not taking you serious at all bro

I cut him off. My words came out as a half-whisper, half-shriek. ‘This isn’t acceptable!’

yall got my mans elliot messed up

The smirk became a sneer. ‘You’re not in the classroom now, Elliot. We’re not underprivileged kids that you can lord it over. It’s unfortunate, but the fact is we don’t currently have the funds to rent anywhere. I don’t know what else you want me to say.’

oop-

‘Yes, you did,’ said Jeff. ‘And now you’re backing down in front of Elliot. Two-faced, that’s what you are. You always have been.’ ‘Leave her alone!’ I snapped. ‘She probably said that because she’s scared of you.’

double oop.

He was a great actor, I’d give him that.

I was close to losing it.

‘Yeah, and it’s only been three.’ It felt like so much longer.

you telling meee

‘What exactly do you want us to do? Find some cardboard boxes and go and live on the street?’ ‘You don’t need cardboard boxes. You can take your new bed with you.’

one point for elliot

You’re a little orphan boy who’s used to having everything just how he likes it.’ I’m pretty sure my mouth fell open at this point.

omg-

Jeff began to wander out of the room, Lizzy following him. Chloe stood up. I wanted to scream. I hadn’t got anywhere.

I’d had enough. I didn’t care if I never got it back. I just wanted them gone.

but three thousand pounds would be a price worth paying for freedom. For getting these toxic people out of my home.

‘What? I didn’t mean I’d give it to you directly. I’ll pay it straight to the landlord.’ ‘In that case, forget it. I’d rather stay here for a while longer.’

bro what

‘You’re really starting to piss me off,’ he said. ‘What?’

uh ohhh

‘You’re pathetic,’ he said, before putting on a babyish voice and saying, ‘I don’t want you in my house anymore, you big meanies. I don’t know why Gemma married a worm like you.’

OOP

All I could do was stand there, trembling with rage and shock and frustration.

‘Why don’t you go back to your terribly important job?’ he said, his voice slimy with sarcasm. ‘Find some little girls to play with?’ With that, he walked calmly up the stairs.

i-

I just stood there as Lizzy walked around me like someone avoiding dog mess on the pavement,

‘Let me stay,’ she said before stepping away.

Joshua said he usually stays awake till midnight. My dad said no wonder he’s bottom of the class.’

your dad is messy lol

Amira had told me that there were several women on a nearby estate who kept calling the police to report invented crimes, hoping Colin would turn up.

And if they hadn’t done that in the last twenty years, they were hardly going to now. I needed to concentrate on the present. Or the recent past, at least.

‘And leave those bastards alone in my house again? You must be joking. I’d get back and find all my furniture replaced!

‘Or maybe they’re in on it,’ said Amira.

Maybe they’re in on it. Maybe I couldn’t trust anyone.

It hadn’t occurred to me that Gemma might know too, that she was keeping secrets from me.

Was this something Gemma and her parents had planned? Had she been out on Open Gardens day, looking for the perfect property for her and Jeff and Lizzy to move into? The perfect mug to fall in love with her?

i was literally thinking that

She had criticised Jeff and Lizzy to my face, but she hadn’t done anything to get rid of them.

She acted like she genuinely loved me – but what if it was all an act?

Gemma was my wife. I loved her. We were in this together.

smh

‘Okay, so usually in cases like this – and I must say it’s rather rare to find someone whose in-laws are refusing to move out – we would advise both parties to follow ADR, which stands for alternative dispute resolution. It’s always much easier than going down the legal route.’

‘In that case, forget it. I’ve tried that already. I even offered to lend them the money they’d need to move in somewhere. They refused.’

I could feel myself about to launch into a rant and forced myself to stop.

thats so real bye

‘That’s when things get legal. We would serve a notice to quit. That tells them that if they don’t move out within a further month – actually, I would usually advise two months when it’s a family matter, to prevent further hold-ups when it gets to court . . . If they don’t comply then it would go to the County Court.’

Again, I wrote down Two months. In total, we were already up to four and a half months.

‘And then your in-laws would have fourteen days to file a defence, at which point they can delay things further by mounting a defence.’

oml

I put down the pen. ‘You’re kidding, right?’

lol not you put down the pen

‘Sounds right. After which, your in-laws would be given up to forty-two days to vacate your house, and if they still refused to go we would have to get bailiffs involved, which can take another couple of months. But then . . .’ I stopped listening.

this shit is hopeless

‘Elliot? Are you still there? Hello?’ I ended the call. I couldn’t bear to hear any more.

I had made the mistake of letting Jeff and Lizzy into my life. And now I was stuck.

Left me wondering who I was. What I was becoming.

I would come out of the bathroom and find her there, or be at my computer and sense her behind me, watching, slipping into the shadows as I turned. Some nights I was certain I could sense her presence outside my and Gemma’s bedroom door, though when I got up and checked there was never anyone there.

odd..

I felt like going away, leaving them all to it. But whenever this urge took hold, I would shake myself. Clench my fists and whisper, ‘No.’ This was my house.

I was going to starve them out. And when they left the house to look for food and tea, I would secure all the doors and get someone round to change the locks. I didn’t care if I’d have to go hungry. Jeff ate constantly and Lizzy needed eight cups of tea to make it through the day. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of it before.

bye thats so not gonna work

She turned to me, confusion turning to realisation on her face. ‘You stupid twat,’ she said before leaving the room.

omg wtf lmaooo