Here To Stay

by Mark Edwards

That’s two things we have in common. Allergies and thinking Gemma’s lovely.’

I just don’t like that feeling of being out of control.’

mmm.. one out of the many red flags to come

‘Been drinking a lot, have you?’ Lizzy asked Gemma, eyeing her wine. ‘Not really.’ ‘Hmm. I thought it might account for your weight gain.’ I almost spat my own wine back into the glass. Gemma was looking down at herself, a hand on her belly.

oop-

For the second time, Jeff interrupted her. ‘I think she looks great. Cuddly.’

CUDDLY ????

I put my arm around her shoulders. ‘I’d go with perfect.’

but Jeff could talk the knickers off a nun.’

he could WHAT??

Anyway, maybe an accident will happen. I remember what it was like being a newlywed. We were at it non-stop, weren’t we, Jeff?’

oh- BYE lmao not maybe an accident will happen

I laughed. ‘You’ve come very close.’

‘Oh, that’s bad luck. What happened?’ His directness was refreshing. Most people would express sympathy and leave a gap, hoping I would fill it without them having to ask.

eh ig

Jeff whistled. ‘So you’ve had two lucky escapes, Elliot. Seems like somebody up there likes you.’

side eye.

I’d have screwed them for every penny they had.’

im sure.

thinking I should have tested it out before the Robinson clan arrived. I didn’t want to spend the next two weeks whispering.

Next time, I decided, I would challenge Lizzy if she insulted Gemma.

This was Gemma’s house now, as well as mine, and her parents had no right to come here and upset her.

real

I had a good idea what had caused the scars anyway. But I wanted to hear it from her.

nah rs tho

The house felt strange with other people in it, and I thought I could hear voices too, so quiet they might have been in my head.

how much you wanna bet they standing by the door ?

so I got out of bed and put my dressing gown on.

your what???

No, it was fainter, like it was coming from the ground floor.

bro its that little girl

I stood motionless, unable to hear anything except my own breathing. I was paralysed, unable to decide what to do.

me asf when im terrorized

She had something in her hand: a small square object.

?????

But what on earth was my mother-in-law doing with a tape measure in my living room in the middle of the night?

lab-cum-classroom

side eye.

‘And Elliot? Don’t take any crap. Pin them down.’

But when I crouched to open it I saw the lock was all the way across.

Had someone deliberately locked him out?

yes.

I needed the loo so I went into the bathroom – and the smell hit me immediately. Somebody had used the toilet but hadn’t flushed it. I put my sleeve over my mouth and nose and grabbed the chain, flushing away the offending objects. I found the air freshener and sprayed it around, then took in the rest of the room.

gag

I guessed Jeff had helped himself.

demonstrating that they did know how to use a dishwasher.

Jeff was now holding the bottle by its neck and I was convinced it was going to slip from his grasp and smash on the floor.

‘For all you know, we could be a pair of serial killers.’

side eye

They exchanged a look, one I couldn’t read. A conspiratorial look, with a hint of humour but something else too.

sus

The conversation was slipping in the wrong direction.

‘Like this place,’ Jeff said. ‘That’s what we’re after.’

red fucking flag.

This was one of the most frustrating things about having my in-laws to stay. The lack of privacy and opportunity to talk to my wife.

Charlie was always there to greet me when I got home from work, wanting his dinner.

how much you wanna bet they gonna kill the cat ?

but yours has been steering well clear of me.

Jeff tutted. ‘A present! Kids today are totally spoiled.’

...

‘You’re not still driving a cab, are you?’ said Jeff. ‘I thought you would have moved on from that by now. No wonder you can only afford that tiny house. And renting too. What a waste.’

yet here you are mooching off of elliot...

‘We’re looking to settle down for good now.’

oh i see that

although I had been unsettled by Stuart’s comment about Jeff and Lizzy needing to rob a bank in order to get their own place.

nah real

I knew from my work that videos of children opening surprise eggs to reveal toys were enormously popular.

real

‘Evil,’ she whispered.

‘Really? Well, it’s freaking me out a little, having this silent stranger hidden away in what’s supposed to be my office.’

real

In fact, I hadn’t slept well since the Robinsons arrived.

But they haven’t found somewhere to go yet, said the other voice in my head. They could be here for weeks.

Because they’re evil, said the other voice, and that sounded so crazy it killed the internal dialogue.

I became convinced there was someone standing outside my bedroom door. I could hear them – no, sense them – breathing.

see wtf did i say

And then I was dreaming – dreaming that someone, too shadowy and liquid to make out, was coming into my room, creeping towards the bed, watching me, wanting to smother me and take everything I had.

oh bby thats sleep paralysis ...

I tried to get back to sleep but now I’d heard the TV I couldn’t tune it out.

so real

‘. . . think we’ve got away . . .’ That was Jeff. I couldn’t make out the end of the sentence. Got away with it? That seemed the obvious conclusion.

mm..