The Neverending Story

by Michael Ende

Human passions have mysterious ways, in children as well as grown-ups. Those affected by them can’t explain them, and those who haven’t known them have no understanding of them at all. Some people risk their lives to conquer a mountain peak. No one, not even they themselves, can really explain why. Others ruin themselves trying to win the heart of a certain person who wants nothing to do with them. Still others are destroyed by their devotion to the pleasures of the table. Some are so bent on winning a game of chance that they lose everything they own, and some sacrifice everything for a dream that can never come true. Some think their only hope of happiness lies in being somewhere else, and spend their whole lives traveling from place to place. And some find no rest until they have become powerful. In short, there are as many different passions as there are people.

If you have never spent whole afternoons with burning ears and rumpled hair, forgetting the world around you over a book, forgetting cold and hunger - If you have never read secretly under the bedclothes with a flashlight, because your father or mother or some other well-meaning person has switched off the lamp on the plausible ground that it was time to sleep because you had to get up so early - If you have never wept bitter tears because a wonderful story has come to an end and you must take your leave of the characters with whom you have shared so many adventures, whom you have loved and admired, for whom you have hoped and feared, and without whose company life seems empty and meaningless – If such things have not been part of your own experience, you probably won’t understand what Bastian did next.

And farther still there was nothing, absolutely nothing. Not a bare stretch, not darkness, not some lighter color; no, it was something the eyes could not bear, something that made you feel you had gone blind. For no eye can bear the sight of utter nothingness.

‘You’re young, son. If you were as old as we are, you’d know there’s nothing but sadness. Why shouldn’t we die, you and I, the Childlike Empress, the whole lot of us? Anyway, it’s all flim-flam, meaningless games. Nothing matters. Leave us in peace, son. Go away.’

‘Your life is short, son. Ours is long. Much too long. But we both live in time. You a short time. We a long time. The Childlike Empress has always been there. But she’s not old. She has always been young. She still is. Her life isn’t measured by time, but by names. She needs a new name. She keeps needing new names. Do you know her name, son?’

without a name she can’t live. All the Childlike Empress needs is a new name, then she’ll get well.

Luckdragons are among the strangest animals in Fantastica. They bear no resemblance to ordinary dragons, which look like loathsome snakes and live in deep caves, diffusing a noxious stench and guarding some real or imaginary treasure. Such spawn of chaos are usually wicked or ill-tempered, they have batlike wings with which they can rise clumsily and noisily into the air, and they spew fire and smoke. Luckdragons are creatures of air, warmth, and pure joy. Despite their great size, they are as light as a summer cloud, and consequently need no wings for flying. They swim in the air of heaven as fish swim in water. Seen from the earth, they look like slow lightning flashes. The most amazing thing about them is their song. Their voice sounds like the golden note of a large bell, and when they speak softly the bell seems to be ringing in the distance. Anyone who has heard this sound will remember it as long as he lives and tell his grandchildren about it.

Atreyu took another swallow and again sleep overcame him, but this time it was the deep, refreshing sleep of recovery.

when he was much younger – he had asked his religion teacher if Jesus Christ had had to go like an ordinary person. After all, he had taken food and drink like everyone else. The class had howled with laughter, and the teacher, instead of an answer, had given him several demerits for ‘insolence’. He hadn’t meant to be insolent.

Turning to Atreyu, he went on: ‘She can only think of practical matters. She has no feeling for the great overarching ideas.’

What he saw was something quite unexpected, which wasn’t the least bit terrifying, but which baffled him completely. He saw a fat little boy with a pale face – a boy his own age – and this little boy was sitting on a pile of mats, reading a book. The little boy had large, sad-looking eyes, and he was wrapped in frayed gray blankets. Behind him a few motionless animals could be distinguished in the half-light – an eagle, an owl, and a fox – and farther off there was something that looked like a white skeleton. He couldn’t make out exactly what it was.

And then they all spoke as with one mouth: ‘Who are you, who bear the emblem of the Childlike Empress and don’t know that Fantastica has no borders?’

‘Why didn’t they run away?’ he murmured. ‘Because they had given up hope. That makes you beings weak. The Nothing pulls at you, and none of you has the strength to resist it for long.’

‘You ask me what you will be there. But what are you here? What are you creatures of Fantastica? Dreams, poetic inventions, characters in a neverending story. Do you think you’re real? Well yes, here in your world you are. But when you’ve been through the Nothing, you won’t be real anymore. You’ll be unrecognizable. And you will be in another world. In that world, you Fantasticans won’t be anything like yourselves. You will bring delusion and madness into the human world. Tell me, sonny, what do you suppose will become of all the Spook City folk who have jumped into the Nothing?’ ‘I don’t know,’ Atreyu stammered. ‘They will become delusions in the minds of human beings, fears where there is nothing to fear, desires for vain, hurtful things, despairing thoughts where there is no reason to despair.’

‘That’s right, sonny,’ said Gmork. ‘In fact, that’s the heart of the matter. Don’t you see? If humans believe Fantastica doesn’t exist, they won’t get the idea of visiting your country. And as long as they don’t know you creatures of Fantastica as you really are, the Manipulators do what they like with them.’ ‘What can they do?’ ‘Whatever they please. When it comes to controlling human beings there is no better instrument than lies. Because, you see, humans live by beliefs. And beliefs can be manipulated. The power to manipulate beliefs is the only thing that counts. That’s why I sided with the powerful and served them – because I wanted to share their power.’ ‘I want no part in it!’ Atreyu cried out.

‘When your turn comes to jump into the Nothing, you too will be a nameless servant of power, with no will of your own. Who knows what use they will make of you? Maybe you’ll help them persuade people to buy things they don’t need, or hate things they know nothing about, or hold beliefs that make them easy to handle, or doubt the truths that might save them. Yes, you little Fantastican, big things will be done in the human world with your help, wars started, empires founded …’

He now realized that not only was Fantastica sick, but the human world as well. The two were connected. He had always felt this, though he could not have explained why it was so. He had never been willing to believe that life had to be as gray and dull as people claimed. He heard them saying: ‘Life is like that,’ but he couldn’t agree. He never stopped believing in mysteries and miracles.

One thing was plain: He too had contributed to the sad state of Fantastica. And he was determined to do something to make it well again. He owed it to Atreyu, who was prepared to make any sacrifice to bring Bastian to Fantastica. He had to find the way.

‘What does she look like?’ ‘Like a little girl. But she’s much older than the oldest inhabitants of Fantastica. Or rather, she’s ageless.’

‘Oh, the world is full of things you don’t see. You can believe me. He isn’t in our world yet. But our worlds have come close enough together for us to see each other. For a twinkling the thin wall between us became transparent. He will be with us soon and then he will call me by the new name that he alone can give me. Then I shall be well, and so will Fantastica.’

‘All lies were once creatures of Fantastica. They are made of the same stuff — but they have lost their true nature and become unrecognizable. But, as you might expect from a half-and-half creature like Gmork, he told you only half the truth. There are two ways of crossing the dividing line between Fantastica and the human world, a right one and a wrong one. When Fantasticans are cruelly dragged across it, that’s the wrong way. When humans, children of man, come to our world of their own free will, that’s the right way. Every human who has been here has learned something that could be learned only here, and returned to his own world a changed person. Because he had seen you creatures in your true form, he was able to see his own world and his fellow humans with new eyes. Where he had seen only dull, everyday reality, he now discovered wonders and mysteries. That is why humans were glad to come to Fantastica. And the more these visits enriched our world, the fewer lies there were in theirs, the better it became. Just as our two worlds can injure each other, they can also make each other whole again.’

‘Why do you need a new name to get well?’ ‘Only the right name gives beings and things their reality,’ she said. ‘A wrong name makes everything unreal. That’s what lies do.’ ‘Maybe the savior doesn’t yet know the right name to give you.’ ‘Oh yes he does,’ she assured him.

‘Master,’ the lion replied calmly. ‘Didn’t you know that Fantastica is the land of stories? A story can be new and yet tell about olden times. The past comes into existence with the story.’

‘Only your wishes can guide you over the pathways of Fantastica,’ said Grograman. ‘You must go from wish to wish. What you don’t wish for will always be beyond your reach. That is what the words ‘far’ and ‘near’ mean in Fantastica. And wishing to leave a place is not enough. You must wish to go somewhere else and let your wishes guide you.’

‘“DO WHAT YOU WISH.” That must mean I can do anything I feel like. Don’t you think so?’ All at once Grograman’s face looked alarmingly grave, and his eyes glowed. ‘No,’ he said in his deep, rumbling voice. ‘It means that you must do what you really and truly want. And nothing is more difficult.’

‘What I really and truly want? What do you mean by that?’ ‘It’s your own deepest secret and you yourself don’t know it.’ ‘How can I find out?’ ‘By going the way of your wishes, from one to another, from first to last. It will take you to what you really and truly want.’ ‘That doesn’t sound so hard,’ said Bastian. ‘It is the most dangerous of all journeys.’ ‘Why?’ Bastian asked. ‘I’m not afraid.’ ‘That isn’t it,’ Grograman rumbled. ‘It requires the greatest honesty and vigilance, because there’s no other journey on which it’s so easy to lose yourself forever.’

‘When a person is only half an ass like me, and not a complete one, she senses certain things. Even the horses had an inkling. You needn’t say anything, sire. I’d have been so glad to tell my children and grandchildren that I carried the Savior on my back and was first to welcome him. Unfortunately mules don’t get children.’

‘Now you have found your last wish,’ she said finally. ‘What you really and truly want is to love.’ ‘But why can’t I, Dame Eyola?’ ‘You won’t be able to until you have drunk of the Water of Life,’ she said. ‘And you can’t go back to your own world unless you take some of it back for others.’

‘They are forgotten dreams from the human world,’ Yor explained. ‘Once someone dreams a dream, it can’t just drop out of existence. But if the dreamer can’t remember it, what becomes of it? It lives on in Fantastica, deep under our earth. There the forgotten dreams are stored in many layers. The deeper one digs, the closer together they are. All Fantastica rests on a foundation of forgotten dreams.’

‘Great benefactor! Great benefactor! Do you remember how you saved us, when we were the Acharis? Then we were the unhappiest creatures in all Fantastica, but now we’re fed up with ourselves. At first what you did to us was a lot of fun, but now we’re bored to death. We flit and we flutter and we don’t know where we’re at. We can’t even plan any decent games, because we haven’t any rules. You’ve turned us into preposterous clowns, that’s what you’ve done. You’ve cheated us!’ ‘I meant well,’ said the horrified boy. ‘Sure, you meant well by yourself,’ the Shlamoofs shouted in chorus. ‘Your kindness made you feel great, didn’t it? But we paid the bill for your kindness, you great benefactor!’

But then he jumped into the crystal-clear water. He splashed and spluttered and let the sparkling rain fall into his mouth. He drank till his thirst was quenched. And joy filled him from head to foot, the joy of living and the joy of being himself. He was newborn. And the best part of it was that he was now the very person he wanted to be. If he had been free to choose, he would have chosen to be no one else. Because now he knew that there were thousands and thousands of forms of joy in the world, but that all were essentially one and the same, namely, the joy of being able to love.

And much later, long after Bastian had returned to his world, in his maturity and even in his old age, this joy never left him entirely. Even in the hardest moments of his life he preserved a lightheartedness that made him smile and that comforted others.