The Lie: A Memoir of Two Marriages, Catfishing & Coming Out

by William Dameron

What must be given up completely in order to forgive? If it is a smaller offense, let’s say someone accidently tripped you and they ask you to forgive them, the offering is small. There was no malice or deception, and so giving up a sense of pride, of feeling hurt for momentarily looking foolish, is all that is required. You both move on rather easily. As the size of the offense grows, and the length of its duration expands, so too does the act of forgiveness.

The idea of forgiveness is both hopeful and daunting. This passage had made me want to think back and reflect on my own need for forgiving.

It can be helpful to know and understand the motivation of the person who hurt you in order to forgive them, but it is not necessary, because forgiveness is a solitary act that requires only one participant.

We can't require the request for forgiveness before forgiving. We can't decide what someone else was thinking either. Instead we have to decide to forgive because it frees us b

Forgiveness is not given to help the one who hurt you, but to navigate through the pain in order to free yourself.

Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die.

For someone who loves to hold up the light, he hates to stand beneath it.

I believe this could also be said about me.

I discovered that at the heart of every lie is a seed that when watered and cultivated grows mighty, like a windswept tree.

Do we water every seed of lie?

But finally, the gnarled roots were unearthed and exposed to the light. Here was where the lie withered, the roots upended, and truth bloomed.

What unearths the lie? Admitting it?

Hats off to GrubStreet in Boston for their wonderful writing courses and guidance. Some of the best writing advice came from the wonderful Ann Hood, who taught me how to use objects to carry the weight of emotions, and that every good story is comprised of two: the one on the surface, the one beneath—and when they collide? Push it just a bit more.

I must research this person to see if I myself can learn from her.