The Lie: A Memoir of Two Marriages, Catfishing & Coming Out

by William Dameron

Fear of eternal damnation, the fear of ridicule, the fear of being labeled a faggot and being beaten to a bloody pulp as I had seen happen to classmates who were unable to hide their queerness had created a fear and internal homophobia so great that it eclipsed all others.

I envied them. I hated that they could indulge in their desires, while I sat stifling mine. What was it like not to feel guilty about what turned you on?

He could never thoroughly enjoy the attention because he was always too concerned it might end.

Cruelly, I sometimes still lie, to strangers, acquaintances, and people I’ve just met, because the world is a brutal place for queer people. There are times when safety trumps honesty. The little daily lies like brittle, stinging snowflakes accumulate until they are several feet deep, and I have to trudge my way through.