First, I gained Katherine’s trust. I had few friends, and those I did had no idea who I really was. We both felt lonely in our own worlds, and this formed a connection. I told myself this connection was enough to build a life on. Our vulnerabilities exposed each other’s. Katherine’s trauma around the idea of family was perhaps her greatest vulnerability. She wanted desperately a family of her own. The face I shared was not mine. Outwardly, my face expressed ambition, certainty, and that of a straight man. For years, I told myself I could be straight. I gaslighted her. I pretended not to
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