The Lie: A Memoir of Two Marriages, Catfishing & Coming Out

by William Dameron

They were my link to the history I had ignored and the future that I would come to embrace. They shared personal recollections of significant events—the Stonewall riots, the AIDS epidemic, the assassination of Harvey Milk, the marches, and political figures I was too embarrassed to admit I did not know.

It was the portrayal of AIDS and the specter of death, televised nightly on the evening news, that was another hand of fear that clutched me and held me tight in the closet.

Without sadness, happiness cannot exist.

It can be helpful to know and understand the motivation of the person who hurt you in order to forgive them, but it is not necessary, because forgiveness is a solitary act that requires only one participant.

In order to make amends, you must first see the world from the viewpoint of the one you hurt.

We are not the first generation of queer people who have found ourselves trapped in a straight marriage, but please God, let us be the last.

I discovered that at the heart of every lie is a seed that when watered and cultivated grows mighty, like a windswept tree. The source of my lies—the biggest lie of all—was the idea that a gay boy could not be loved. It was planted inside me as a child, and it was fruitful and multiplied. This was where the limb of lies that twisted throughout my marriage—and within myself—began. But finally, the gnarled roots were unearthed and exposed to the light. Here was where the lie withered, the roots upended, and truth bloomed.