“Are you yanking my crank?” “No. This is not a joke.” “And you said, ‘half’? Of a pig?” “I said ‘half of a pig.’ An actual, literal pig. A swine hog.” “You serious?” “As a heart attack.” “What do you mean by ‘half,’ exactly?” “It’s only the front half. And it seems very upset about the whole thing." “You mean, like, exactly half?” “I don’t know; I didn’t measure it.” “Where’d the back half go?” “Can you, maybe, like, send somebody out here?” “And where did you say you were?” “At the shitty gas station at the edge of town.” “Ohhh!” she exclaimed, “Please hold.” Apparently,
